On Monday, January 16th, the unimaginable happened: Corinne Olympios (current front-runner/season 21 "Bachelor" villain/billion dollar company owner) stated that she has a nanny. I know, a nanny. A grown woman. With. A. Nanny. 

Let me tell you, this revelation blew everyone's mind. Corinne went on to say that Raquel (her nanny) "like, keeps her life together, okay." I mean, guys...she makes her bed, does her laundry, and "makes her cucumber." I'm not really sure how you "make" cucumber.

The most mind-blowing part of Corinne's nanny bombshell was when she raved about Raquel's "cheese pasta." WTF is "cheese pasta?" Is it mac and cheese? Fettucine alfredo? Cacio e pepe? THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

Most people thought it was just plain old boxed mac and cheese:

Some thought it was literally pasta with cheese on top:

Luckily for us, Corinne shared the now infamous cheese pasta recipe in an exclusive interview with Us Weekly. To make the pasta, you need two ingredients: pasta and shredded cheese. 

First, you boil the pasta for 10 minutes with some salt in the water. Then, strain the pasta water out and add the pasta back to the pot over low heat. Add a lot of shredded cheese and mix until the cheese melts (side note: no salt with cheese). 

No, I didn't miss a step or leave out an ingredient. That is literally the recipe, word for word. I know, I know. I'm just as disappointed as you are. I was hoping for an extravagant homemade conchiglie mixed in an imported cheese wheel from Tuscany—but this? This is absurd. What kind of "shredded cheese" does she use? How much is "a lot?" Isn't it dry AF with no milk or cream? Also: "no salt with cheese." WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 

The fact that Corinne has "tried so many times to make cheese pasta" but she "can't make cheese pasta like her" actually hurts my brain. Girly, you literally boil pasta and put cheese in it. I hope none of you, for my sanity, try and make this recipe. Instead, make a big-ass bowl of literally any other kind of cheese pasta, lemon salad, and cucumbers to eat while you watch shit go down Monday night on the Bachelor.