10 Thoughts We've All Had About the Mumps Outbreak at SU

It's official. There are so many cases of mumps at Syracuse University that I literally cannot get an exact number from Health Services of how many people are infected. I'm serious. I called them 10 times and nobody ever got back to me on just how many cases of mumps we have on campus as of now. You know it's bad when SU Health Services doesn't even want to admit to how bad it's gotten.

As you must be well aware, it's only spreading to even larger numbers. As I spend my days here on campus, there's at least two occurrences per day when a topic of the mumps comes up in conversation.

Students. Are. Obsessed. And why shouldn't they be? Only last week was there an order from the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs to cancel all parties for Halloweekend. Students were in rage. Why?

Like yes, maybe sharing juuls, wine bags, and double dipping our cups in jungle juice isn't the best idea. But then again, think of our dining halls, our lecture halls, our sweaty fitness centers, and above all else, the incredibly busy Bird Library. As I've heard from several other students, it's ignorant that the University is not considering disinfecting our academic buildings, our libraries, and the buildings we eat in.

Whether we expected a student evacuation or not, we, as a student body, must stick together and beat the mumps out of our system. Although staying locked in the Sheraton with 50 dollars of room service per day doesn't sound too bad, students who were "kicked out" of the university mentioned being academically stressed once they got out of mumps lockdown. When I interviewed a student who was forced to go on lockdown mode, she mentioned "...the professors were understanding, but not everything i missed [could] be given to me while i was [in the Sheraton], so I basically had to catch up on a week’s amount of work as soon as i got out."

So, while you're stuck in the Sheraton for days on end, you're forced to stress about the immense amount of work you're missing. Great. 

Overall, I truly don't think I've seen this much hype about an illness since Ebola. Ebola affected people, but was irrelevant to where I was living. Mumps on Syracuse University, however, is extremely relevant, terrifying, and downright threatening to one's social life and GPA. 

With so much commotion about this outbreak, there's bound to be stress, frustration, and fear. Here are 10 thoughts we've most definitely had about mumps here at Syracuse University. Deep breaths, 'Cuse. 

1. When A Student In Class Coughs...

Although a cough is literally no symptom of the mumps, as soon as a student coughs in class, we're most likely to turn around rudely and stare at them thinking of how they're probably infected. 

2. When the Wine Bag is Being Passed Around...

The beloved wine bags that are passed around at afters are probably the primary source of how mumps was spread in the first place. So when we see a wine bag passed around during Halloweekend, we close our noses, mouths, and pray to god your friend won't force you to go anywhere near it.

3. When You're Getting Hot and Bothered...

A simple hookup is harmless until you realize how little you know about your one night stand. Before you know it, you find yourself pushing your hookup away from you, only to yell in their face asking if they have the mumps. Such a great pickup line, right?

4. When You See a Syracuse Lacrosse Backpack...

Need I say more?

5. "Someone Take One For the Team" 

We all remember when there was a downright lie (but a blessing, if it was true) of a rumor that students would be evacuated after 26 cases of the mumps. Before we knew it, people were begging each other to "take one for the team" and make out with all of SU Athletics. Don't worry, I was highly considering it (my immune system is already shot). If you considered, you're not alone.

6. When You Wonder Why Classes Haven't Been Cancelled Yet...

Now there are five or more cases per 1,000 students diagnosed with the mumps. The outbreak will only spread while our germs are all over door handles at Bird Library and treadmills at Archbold. Is it too much to ask to cancel classes for one day and quarantine our germ-infested buildings? Just a thought.

7. When You'd Much Rather Get the Mumps Than Wait in This Line...

Halfway through the wait to get the mumps vaccination, I was extremely considering ditching the whole "cure" all together and risking my overall well-being. I'm so so glad that so many people want to be hygienic, but clearly people are going to go at the same time (3pm on a Friday), only to wait in a 3 hour line.

8. When You Get Hit With the Side Effects from the Vaccination...

I've heard numerous cases where students are feeling woozy, queasy and fever-ish after the mumps shot. Some are even getting hit with hives? If I wanted to feel every mumps symptom, I would've licked Bird Library's door handles. But I didn't.

9. When Goosebumps Comes On...

Forever, this song will be scarred. Instead of reminiscing to when Travis Scott performed at 'Cuse, I need to be remembered of how I feel goosemumps every time you come around.

10. When Halloweekend Got Ruined...

Luckily, we all still had a freaky-deaky good time. However, we will always remember how someone thought mumps would magically disappear once we kicked off all frat parties on campus. They should seriously know by now that nothing will stop us from rallying. Not even mumps. Mumps or no mumps at Syracuse University, nothing stops us.