I’ll bet you a dozen doughnuts and a framed Martha Stewart Twitter pic that the most important part of your life—yes, the 97.4% revolving around food—will be forever changed after a glimpse at these near-psychedelic food hacks…

1. Put your hard-boiled eggs in a glass of water and shake it like the Zumba elective class you’re in isn’t pass/fail. (The glass, not your a%$ that is.)

2. The days of dry white meat accompanying juicy dark meat are now over. Prior to cooking, submerge the breasts of the chicken in ice water until thoroughly chilled and they’ll be perfectly done at the same time as the legs and thighs.

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3. Stop your viciously boiling pasta water from spilling all over the stove again by balancing a wooden spoon across the top of the uncovered pot….#magic.

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Photo courtesy of petitorganics.blogspot.com/

4. The next time your housemate bakes you a cake for cleaning out Leonardo DeCatrio’s litter box (bless your soul), slap some Wonderbread on the exposed edges and save some of that frosted heaven for tomorrow. Dessert for breakfast, anyone?

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5. Put cherry tomatoes, grapes or anything else small, round and impossible to fork-stab between two flat surfaces and slice them by the dozens in a matter of seconds.

6. Tired of eating all the onions out of the skillet before they can reach their full sweet, golden potential? Yeah, I feel you. Add baking soda and they’ll be perfectly caramelized in 10 minutes.

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Photo by Sarah Wu

7. If you’d like to stop using twelve and a half spatulas to scrape honey or peanut butter or any other edible Elmer’s glue out of measuring cups, just spray some Pam up in there and the whole amount will slide right out.

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Photo courtesy of ourbestbites.com/

8. Use cookie cutters to shape festive pancakes

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Image courtesy of diyncrafts.com/

…or bday cake sprinkle designs.

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Image courtesy of howdoesshe.com/

9. Keep your exposed avocado flesh from turning that astonishingly unappetizing grey-green color with an onion buddy in its air-tight container.

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10. The next time life demands a Netflix-and-Kung-Pao-Chicken binge, request some extra chopsticks. Use them with a narrow-necked bottle or jar to punch out cherry pits faster than you can stuff the hollowed-out fruits in your face.

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Photo courtesy of food52.com/

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