As finals destroy our immune systems, sleep patterns, GPAs, and dreams, we must focus on the following points: grades don’t really matter (okay maybe they do, but for the sake of my well-being, let’s pretend), you won’t have to worry about shit when you’re home, and you’ll be HOME for the holidays, where your mom will both nag you and feed you endlessly.
Coming home for the holidays means dealing with incessant questions, eating yourself into a food coma, cuddling with your bae (or dog) family bickering/drama, pesky younger siblings, high school flashbacks, and more that’ll make you want to pull your hair out.
So being the degenerative college kids we are, why not make a drinking game to cope with these annoyances that come with being home for the holidays?
Take a sip
- Every time a relative asks if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend
- Every time someone asks what you want to do with your life (it’s okay not to know, you’re young)
- For every judgmental look you get from your parents when they see any letter grade below an A
- When someone asks you if you have a job/internship lined up for the summer
Take two sips
- Whenever an elderly person decides to talk about their “glory days”
- If you eat 3x your bodyweight in a single meal
- When someone cautions you about the risks of “those party drugs” and drinking too much
- When your crazy aunt gets too drunk and complains about how single she is
Take a shot
- When a relative asks you why you never call/text/respond to their emails
- When your parents make plans on your behalf
- When your mom tells you to make your own appointments now
- When your parents remind you to use protection (no glove, no love, kids)
- When your mom tries to give you a curfew
- When your parents say, “My roof, my rules”
- When someone says, “I say this because I care”
- If someone hints that you’ve gained weight (stfu there’s more to love now)