With the release of Speak Now (Taylor’s Version), Taylor Swift continues to dominate me physically, mentally, and spiritually. I would be remiss if I said that any other artist had so completely dictated the soundtrack of my life. I listen to Taylor Swift on the L-train, on walks around Hyde Park, and when I should be asleep at 2 a.m.
And now, Taylor Swift gets her just rewards for Speak Now. These re-recordings, along with several songs from the vault, showcase the more mature timbre of her adult voice, beautifully adapting every song from an album that’s healed broken hearts worldwide for 13 years (oh…seems like there’s something here). In honor of the re-release, here’s what I think each song would be as a dish.
Mine (Taylor’s Version): Strawberry & Whipped Cream Waffles
This is because strawberry waffles are my favorite thing to throw against walls. And, I always end up throwing plates of food when listening to “Mine.”
Sparks Fly (Taylor’s Version): Avocado Toast
A known aphrodisiac, all the avocado in this dish is certainly going to help things get to the bedroom.
Back To December (Taylor’s Version): Egg McMuffin
I always turn this song on when I want to cry my heart out in the car. I have a lot of regrets (too many for someone my age…be scared). Usually, I’m this upset because I went to a bar, had one beer, and am now thinking about that one situationship. Eating an Egg McMuffin helps when “this is me, swallowing my pride” begins to play. Oh Taylor Lautner, forgive me.
Speak Now (Taylor’s Version): Handful of cake from a wedding you crash
If you’ve seen the “I Bet You Think About Me” music video, you’ll know exactly what I’m thinking about.
Dear John (Taylor’s Version): A bowl of sour milk
As a Wisconsinite, there’s nothing better than milk. But, every once in a while, one of the ten gallons of milk I keep in my fridge at all times goes bad. And, instead of sipping on a delightful glass of dairy, I get a mouthful of sludge. That’s you, John Mayer (allegedly).
Mean (Taylor’s Version): A bowl of black coffee
Nothing puts a more disgusted expression on my face than a cup of black coffee. The idea of all the Taylor Swift critics puts a similarly bad taste in my mouth. It will put you in the perfect mood for this sound.
The Story Of Us (Taylor’s Version): Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
I always think a PB&J is gonna fill me up, but it rarely satisfies me for more than a half hour. Something about the jelly makes me ravenous. And for that reason, it’s the perfect snack for those moments when you’re trying to remember that the situationship ended because they always left you wanting more.
Never Grow Up (Taylor’s Version): Bowl of dry Cheerios
When I listen to this song, I always think about my little cousin Sophie as a baby. My sister and I would feed her dry Cheerios when she spent days with us at our grandma’s. Now, she’s almost ready to go to college. I’m not crying, you are!
Enchanted (Taylor’s Version): An entire croque-en-bouche
Whenever I listen to this song on the train and imagine I’m in a music video, there’s always a croque-en-bouche nearby. Seriously, you don’t get fancier than that (well, I can’t).
Better Than Revenge (Taylor’s Version): Gyro
After I commit revenge, I always get a gyro. Maybe that’s not what you do now, but I highly suggest it next time you set an ex’s house on fire.
Innocent (Taylor’s Version): Lunchables Turkey & Cheddar
“Wasn’t it easier in your lunchbox days?” You remember, the days when the only thing you worried about was the complex politics of recess four-square games. In honor of your lost childhood, grab a Lunchables and enjoy this tender melody.
Haunted (Taylor’s Version): Best bagel you’ve ever had from a place you’ll never find again
There’s nothing quite like the bagel that got away. I think about you every day, Everything Bagel that I got somewhere in Brooklyn two years ago. Why must you haunt me?
Last Kiss (Taylor’s Version): Frosty with fries
When you’re sitting on the floor, wearing their clothes, the only thing that helps is fry after fry dipped in a chocolate frosty from Denny’s. Plus, it’s an easy meal to enjoy in-between crying fits.
Long Live (Taylor’s Version): Thin-crust pizza
You eat thin-crust pizza at a table full of friends, while you reminisce about your future prospects. That is nothing if not “Long Live (Taylor Version).”
Ours (Taylor’s Version): Pancakes for dinner
“Ours” is a story of you and your sweetie against the world. People may judge you, but pancakes for dinner is a glorious way to live.
If This Was a Movie (Taylor’s Version): Cheddar and caramel popcorn
It’s a snack to eat while waiting for them in the rain. It holds up surprisingly well, granted I’ve only ever tried it with Garrett’s Cheddar and Caramel popcorn.
Superman (Taylor’s Version): Root beer float with Superman ice cream
This twist on the original root beer float swaps vanilla ice cream for that blue (Blue Moon), red (Cherry), and yellow (Lemon or Banana) midwestern obsession, Superman ice cream. The perfect drink to pair with your DC Comics-themed romantic daydreams.
Electric Touch (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault): Baked Alaska
When Taylor does a duet with Fall Out Boys, a flaming pastry is the only appropriate meal. Plus, every time I eat baked Alaska I’m “hoping the fire won’t burn me.”
When Emma Falls in Love (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault): Scooby-Doo Kraft Mac & Cheese.
It’s still mac & cheese, but the Scooby-Doo pasta makes the whole dish indescribably better (I think it’s because those unique noodles get a better hold on the cheese, but I have no research to support this claim).
I Can See You (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault): Sardines and Peanut Butter
Just like no one can know that you eat sardines and peanut butter, our love baby is a “secret mission.”
Castles Crumbling (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault): Fluffernutter sandwich
Fluffernutter sandwiches are the meals of your past. The past you’ll never see again.
Foolish One (From The Vault) (Taylor’s Version): Eating Ramen with your hands
There’s nothing more foolish than trying to eat a hot bowl of ramen with your hands. Although, I think everyone at the restaurant would call you something more than foolish.
Timeless (From The Vault) (Taylor’s Version): Spaghetti and Meatballs
This is a timeless, Lady and the Tramp-style, romantic meal.