Avocado toast has been around for nearly a century. The malachite green cloud resting atop a crunchy wedge of multigrain bread has become a necessary staple of any food-related Instagram. It may very well be the trend that never dies. But everything – good or bad – comes to an end. Here are my top (but not limited to) 6 reasons why avocado toast is overrated.
It’s Pricey
Just because avocado toast isn’t actually the reason you won’t be able to afford a house doesn’t mean it isn’t expensive. According to data from hundreds of vendors, a restaurant avocado toast ranges from $2-18 and averages around $6.78. $7 doesn’t sound that bad, but if I’m going out to brunch, I’m spending that money on stuffed French toast, veggie-filled omelets, fluffy pancakes, and eggs Florentine… not mashed fruit on bread.
Granted, if you DIY your toast, it does cost significantly less (I calculated – it’s about $1.78 for two slices). But remember: avocados cost about $1.50-1.99 a fruit, a price that continues to rise because of natural shortages, inconsistent imports, and excess demand. And, in my opinion, there are much better ways to use them (more on that later).
It’s a Pretty Dull Dish
In my opinion, avocado toast is not, in any way, a flavor bomb. The toast is crunchy and maybe a little nutty if it’s a nice artisanal slice. The avocado offers a decent textural contrast, but is, for the most part, tasteless. Sprinkle on some swanky salt, maybe a couple of chili flakes if you’re feeling adventurous. But at the end of the day, all you have is some semi-spicy mush on half-burnt bread.
But what about the toppings, you ask? I don’t consider that to be avocado toast, and here’s why. If you put cream cheese and lox on your bagel, is it a cream cheese bagel with lox or a lox bagel with cream cheese? The latter, because the cream cheese is the condiment and the lox is the substance. If you butter up a piece of toast and slap a sunny-side-up egg on it, is it an egg on toast or buttered toast? The former, because the butter is the condiment and the egg is the substance. If you slather some hummus on bread and add roasted vegetables, is it a roasted vegetable sandwich or hummus toast? Is hummus toast even a thing?
The point is, in my opinion, a piece of bread with avocado spread plus eggs, cheese, tomatoes, meat, fish, veggies, or more ceases to be avocado toast. The smashed green fruit is no longer the main attraction. It’s just a hipster-esque open-faced sandwich or flatbread that happens to contain avocado.
Avocado toast is not diverse or a “blank slate”. The reason all these extras need to be piled on is that avocado toast is bland.
It’s Not Filling
I remember trying avocado toast for the first time, scooping a generous spoonful of hashed creamy green onto a browned slab of wheat bread, anticipating the so-called healthful holy grail of breakfasts. I spent a solid 5 minutes chewing through a single slice, meticulously searching for that wow factor the Internet so adored. 40 minutes later, I was still looking for it, and my stomach was looking for more food.
Some people might be able to subsist solely off of avocado toast, but I am clearly not one of them. You can laud to me all you want the wonders of the filling fiber the humble avocado contains, but you can’t tell me I’m not hungry.
It’s Not Great for the Environment
This may not necessarily be a direct quip against avocado toast, but the heightened demand for avocados caused by dishes such as avocado toast has rather unfortunate effects on the planet. Their increased production leads to the deforestation of other species, causes repeated chemical inputs to be used in the soil, requires massive amounts of water, and releases a lot of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. Regardless of whether or not you think avocado toast is overrated, maybe you should reconsider making it your go-to brunch order.
It’s a Mediocre Use for Avocados
If you’re going to use avocados, squishing them into a pulp and smearing it over a piece of toast is not the tastiest nor most creative way to eat them. This is coming from someone who used to spoon salted avocados from the peel straight into her mouth.
Avocados are ripe for use in a myriad of different ways: guacamole, pasta sauce, mayonnaise substitute on sandwiches or in salads, fries, or something sweet if that’s more to your taste. You can even put it on your face or in your hair. But avocado toast? Let’s put those creative (green) juices to work.
It’s a Mediocre Topping for Toast
Not only are avocados much more than just a toast topping, but toast is also much more than just a vehicle for avocados. Just think about all the possibilities. Banana. Ricotta. Peanut butter and/or Nutella. Pumpkin. Sardines. French toast! Just anything but avocado.
Every other morning, my dad butters up two slices of whole grain bread. Literally, all he does is smooth butter over the bread and eat it. I would take his breakfast – the simplest, purest form of toast – over some uber-Instagrammable avocado rose on bread any day. At least butter tastes like something.
In Conclusion
I’m not forcing anyone to adopt my opinion that avocado toast is overrated, so by all means, please enjoy your slice. But I, personally, am going to be taking a long overdue break from avocado toast to start seeing some other foods, and I know I’m not the only one. There are too many delicious brunch options, tasty trends, and cool restaurants without avocado toast on their menus for me to even consider eating it again.
Goodbye for now, avocado toast – it’s not me, it’s you.