Holiday shopping is unnecessarily stressful. Have you seen the videos of people brawling for the last Tickle-Me-Elmo or camping out in below-freezing temperatures to be the first ones to trample their way into Walmart on Black Friday?
You're better than that. Instead of hurling yourself into the bloodsport that is Black Friday in the real world, kick back with a freshly brewed mug of hot cocoa and scan through the amazing deals that Black Friday online and Cyber Monday provide.
We've corralled the coolest gifts to buy for your loved ones (and, honestly, yourself) this holiday season that you can find on Amazon so you can spend less time stressing and more time relaxing.
1. Yaylabs SoftShell Ice Cream Ball
Eating ice cream is pretty fun. But making ice cream using a fun ball that you roll around? Is there such thing as "too much fun?"
2. Marcato Atlas Wellness 150 Pasta Maker
Unleash your inner Aziz Ansari on Master of None and upgrade your pasta game with this sexy-ass pasta maker. This is what that dude is singing about in that "That's Amoré" song (I think).
3. Chambong Set
Classiness is overrated. You can score a sweet deal on a set of five Chambongs. Why five, you ask? Because no one should bong champagne alone. Duh.
4. Simply Calphalon Nonstick 4-cup Egg Poacher
"Oooooo, I love scrambled eggs!!! They're so easy to make!!!" Grow up, already. We both know that it's time for you to make poached eggs like a real adult. No more excuses.
5. The Literate Wino Gift Set from Hedges Family Estate
Remember what I said earlier about classiness being overrated? I lied. Reading while drinking wine is pretty damn classy, and it's an activity that's severely underrated in my book.
6. Ovente CFS43R Two-Tier Stainless Steel Party Chocolate Fondue Fountain
Frat party? Lame. Theme party? Bo-ring. Fondue party? Too lit.
7. Mr. Root Beer Home Brewing Kit
Root beer is the undisputed king of non-alcoholic beers (suck it, ginger beer). Plus, root beer floats taste even more delicious when you've made the root beer in your own kitchen (probably).
8. Cat Mate C3000 Automatic Dry Food Pet Feeder
Cats gotta eat, too. And if you don't have a cat, just put Cap'n Crunch in this bad boy. Breakfast just got a lot easier.
9. The Happy Herbivore Cookbook
If you ever get bored with the veritable bounty of vegan recipes on Spoon (cough, shameless plug, cough), check out Lindsay S. Nixon's handy cookbook. It's way better than her last book, The Cantankerous Carnivore.
10. Yodelling Pickle
The question isn't "Why do I need a Yodelling Pickle?" The question is "Why wouldn't I need a Yodelling Pickle?"
11. Philips HD9220/26 AirFryer
Air-frying is a healthier way to fry food, which means that fried Oreos can now be considered a "health food," right rhetorical, sarcastic nutritionist?
12. Besiva Knife Sharpener
Don't be DULL. Buy yourself a knife sharpener already, will ya?
13. Rachael Ray Cucina 12-Piece Cookware Set
It's a scientific fact that having Rachael Ray's autograph on the bottom of your frying pan will make your eggs taste 14% better.
14. Teabloom Flowering Tea
This gift set is perfect for any budding horticulturist who enjoys hot, caffeinated beverages.
15. Boelter Brands Miller Lite "Signature" Pint
It's pretty difficult to have good taste and enjoy Miller Lite. These nifty pint glasses are as close as you're going to get with that paradox.
16. Learning Resources Pretend & Play Pro Chef Set
"But Spencer," you speak audibly to the screen you're staring at. "I'm an adult." If you suck at cooking like me, pretending might be as close as you get to becoming a chef.
17. Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream & Dessert Book
When people talk about heaven and "The Good Book," this is what I assume they're referring to.
18. BathLax Bathtub Wine Glass Holder Caddy
Taking time to improve your personal hygiene is not an excuse to stop drinking wine.
19. Food Network Magazine
This magazine is awesome and it's not even the most awesome Food Network media asset (that would be their Snapchat Discover channel, duh).
20. Premium Moscow Mule Copper Unlined Gift Pack
Last year, you were drinking Pink Lemonade Burnett's out of giveaway plastic cup that became discolored in the microwave. This year, you're sipping a premium Moscow Mule out of these magnificent mugs.
21. adidas Womens Team Issue Fleece Dorm Pant
No, these pants are not edible. Yes, you could always use another pair of comfy pants with an elastic waistband this holiday season.
22. Food Network on Amazon Prime
Have you heard? They're yanking Food Network shows off Netflix (GASP). But you don't need to hop on Expedia and buy a one-way ticket to Flavortown to get your fix; you can just watch pretty much everything on Amazon Prime.
23. Danby 36 Bottle Freestanding Wine Cooler
Kick that boring dorm mini-fridge to the curb and treat yo'self to this mammoth cooler. Ya know, because you need to keep those 36 wine bottles you own chilled simultaneously somehow.
24. Pret a Paquet Lunch Box 3-Pack
You're destined to become a meal prep all-star. The only thing holding you back is a dearth of bomb-ass lunch boxes. Enter Pret a Paquet. More like Pret a HELL YES, amirite?
25. Crock-Pot SCV800-S Oval Manual Slow Cooker
Owning a slow cooker is ironically the quickest way to make your tummy happy.