The first thing that I awoke to this morning were the echoes of my roommates’ screams across the hall. Upon further Instagram perusal, I realized that these shrieks and screams could only mean one thing: today is Spotify Wrapped Day, which, in my friend group, is basically a national holiday.
For those who are perplexed, horrified, or even confused at their top artists, I bid you blessings on this festive day. It’s not easy to find out your number one artist was White Noise Box Fan Sounds.
But, while you were bumping fan noises, the rest of the world was obsessed with five certain artists. If you’re tuned into pop culture at all, you can probably guess who they were. Spotify’s Top 5 Most Streamed Artists in 2023 are none other than Taylor Swift, Bad Bunny, The Weeknd, Drake, and Peso Pluma.
Being one of the most-streamed artists globally is a pretty big deal, so I would like to celebrate these individuals accordingly — with food. Here’s what I would feed these global music sensations (not biased).
Taylor Swift: White bread toast with butter
Ah, Miss Tay Tay. You were all anyone could ever talk about this year. Music-wise, Swifties everywhere got loads of new music this year, with the release of Taylor’s Version of Speak Now and 1989, and still rode the high of the 2022 release of Midnights.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I know I’m at least a tad burnt out on Eras Tour and Travis Kelce chatter. So, I would feed T. Swift a simple slice of white bread toast with butter — a food that is also loved by virtually everyone but is also kind of overdone.
Bad Bunny: A fancy six-course meal
Benito deserves a six-course meal, no question. This man puts out a new album almost every year, and still manages to make hits on every single one. For all his hard work laboring away in the studio, and treating us with an appearance on Saturday Night Live, he’s getting a hors d’oeuvre, soup, appetizer, salad, a main course, and a dessert.
The Weeknd: Outshine Fruit Bar
The Weeknd was the victim of a meme this year following his first major acting and producing debut with The Idol. He’s also featured on a handful of singles this year, collaborating with everyone from Travis Scott to Future, and even released a live album, where he performed some of his older XO era hits, which I lived for (I admittedly own limited-edition Trilogy merch and a CD). The Weeknd has been bathing in success for quite some time now, so to cool him off, I’ll give him an Outshine Fruit Bar. Maybe the mango flavor.
Drake: Apple Pie
An apple pie. Cuz like, you know, the meme.
Peso Pluma: Wagyu Steak
Across many music critique platforms, Peso Pluma would best be summed up as a breakout star. With collabs alongside big names such as Karol G, Becky G, and El Alfa, and additionally winning eight awards at the Latin Billboard Music Awards, Peso Pluma is breaking through with his unique sound blending reggaeton and a regional Mexican sound. I dig what Mr. Peso Pluma is up to. I would feed him a delicious, tender Wagyu steak.