It says it right there in the title, I am an Ohio-based girl. This means that I am obsessed with a few things: making Buckeye candies, eating pierogis, and shopping at Trader Joe’s. Yes, yes, I know that TJ’s locations are all over the country, but I am a loyal, perhaps rabid, fan. If anything, going to the grocery store is one of my favorite parts of the week. I always look forward to fresh produce, new little treats, and some flowers for my dining table. Yes, I am very classy. So, of course, being a curious grocery store lover, I baked in about two hours of Erewhon time into my Los Angeles vacation itinerary.
While Erewhon only has ten locations exclusively in Los Angeles County, California, its name is widely recognized across the U.S. After all, the high-end grocery store chain is beloved by the Kardashians, Miley Cyrus, Bella Hadid, and celebrity private chefs. Plus, Gen Z’s faves including Olivia Rodrigo and Emma Chamberlain collab with the Erewhon cafe to craft signature smoothie blends. And you can’t forget about the viral kale salad dupes all over TikTok.
We all know that Erewhon is significantly more expensive than Trader Joe’s, Kroger, and even Whole Foods. So, it’s not fair to come at Erewhon for products like their $13 (eight-ounce) jar of trail mix. (Though, I sent a photo of said nut mix to my dad and it ruined his entire evening.) So, as a grocery store girlie, here are my biggest takeaways, questions, and overall good-faith review of Erewhon.
The smoothies are worth it.
Erewhon is famous for its smoothies, ranging from the blue-tinged Coconut Cloud Smoothie with pineapple and banana flavors to the protein-packed Almond Butter Blast. Frankly, I wanted to know what all the hype was about with Hailey Bieber’s Strawberry Glaze Skin Smoothie.
I wanted to hate this so much. For $19, this concoction of Malk almond milk, organic bananas, organic strawberries, organic avocado, organic dates, organic maple syrup, Vital Proteins vanilla collagen, vanilla stevia, sea moss, organic coconut creme, and Driscoll’s Organic Strawberry Glaze better change my life! Dear reader, it did change my life. Even my sister, a fellow celebrity product-hater said, “Oh no. That’s really good.” We continued to sip our smoothies with a mixture of delight and pure shame. It’s perfectly creamy, not overly sweet, and feels like you’re sipping from the fountain of youth, itself.
Now, there is one price to pay, which is not related to the price tag. How do I say this without being graphic? Um… the Hailey Bieber smoothie forced me to cut my time at a museum short because my stomach decided it had never had collagen, stevia, and sea moss and needed it gone immediately. This forced me to ask the question, “Are celebrities skinny because they’re drinking these smoothies?”
That being said, would I drink it again? A thousand times yes, I would drink it with joy in my heart and fear in my mind.
There’s no way some of these products work.
I expected Erewhon to carry all sorts of ginger and turmeric elixirs and magic mushroom powders. It did. Though, the store seemed to have a star product in nearly every aisle: sea moss. It offered sea moss gel in bright colors, sea moss gummies, sea moss bottled drinks, sea moss “superfood” capsules, and even bags of dried sea moss.
Now, if you’re wondering what sea moss does, just check out the totally helpful set of details provided by the Erewhon website. It reads: Erewhon’s Sea Moss is a superfood supplement with a difference. Harvested from the sea, this dried alga offers a uniquely maritime twist to your diet. Add it to your smoothies or broths for a touch of oceanic goodness, packed with potent nutrients.
If you have any idea what that means…please DM me. I had to go all the way to Health.com to see that sea moss “may” improve your thyroid, immune system, gut health, and libido. In my case, it also “may” make you nearly poop your pants at Frank Lloyd Wright’s Hollyhock House…
I would be remiss not to mention Erewhon’s array of libido-boosting products. Of course, the store carries the viral Moon Juice Sex Dust and a variety of gummies — but my, my, my, is there a ton of sexy chocolate options. For example, you can pick up Alice Mushroom Chocolate for Arousal & Pleasure or an Eat Gold Organics bar in the flavor “Big Orgasm.”
And pick up “Big Orgasm,” I did. My BF and I experimented with the bar and did not have fun. In fact, the chocolate bar, which did not taste rich or delicious, hurt our tummies. (See a theme here?) This comes as no surprise as Spoon University already debunked so-called aphrodisiac chocolates.
The local product selection is fab.
I will give credit where credit is due. Erewhon has an amazing local product lineup. Personally, I picked up a bag of Joshua Tree Coffee Company beans to take home. I am a coffee gal through and through and would absolutely ship these small-batch Cali beans directly to Cleveland in the years to come.
Plus, my East Coast-based sister was elated to see a section of snacks from a small Baltimore business.
Undoubtedly, it sources its produce locally and make it easy for local vendors to apply to be in stores. Points for small biz accessibility and showcasing smaller brands.
Finally… stop calling it a cinnamon roll.
Let me be a hater for one second. Erewhon’s “Raw Cinnamon Roll,” is not warm, ooey-gooey, and frosted. Like its name implies, it’s not baked, but a mixture of oat flour, maple syrup, dates, and cinnamon. Sorry, but the Pillsbury Doughboy would *never* accept this nonsense.
I know they can’t call this a “Cinnamon Abomination,” but it is offensive to use the term cinnamon roll.
Overall, Erewhon is a wonderful novelty grocery store to stroll on a lazy Sunday and an even more delectable place for people-watching. As far as practicality, this is not a place that the average person, let alone average income Californian, could probably shop on a weekly basis. For that reason, I don’t think I ever have to go again, even though the smoothie was *sigh* incredible.