I’m sure you’re probably thinking that I’m extremely absurd for drinking Burnett’s vodka. I promise I’m not trashy. Yes, there are tons of other vodkas out there that taste better or maybe wouldn’t leave you with a raging headache the next morning, but there are some good things about Burnett’s that make me go back to it whenever I’m in need of alcohol at the liquor store. You can laugh at me all you want, but here are my reasons for still drinking Burnett’s that might even convince you to start buying it as well.
1. It’s cheap
This is honestly the main reason why I drink Burnett’s. I am admittedly a broke college student and probably shouldn’t even be spending money on alcohol in the first place, so I go for whatever is cheapest. Where I live, Burnett’s is typically around $8 for a small bottle and around $14 for a larger bottle. So yeah, I’d rather spend $8 on subpar liquor than over $20 for the really good stuff. And this way you’ll have more money for more necessary items like food (because that’s what’s most important right?).
2. It comes in a bunch of different flavors
Personally, I’m a huge fan of fruity cocktails, so the fact that Burnett’s comes in over 40 different fun, fruity flavors gets me excited. Depending on your location, these include pink lemonade, strawberry banana, hot cinnamon, sweet tea, orange cream, and tropical fruit. They also sell a plain, non-flavored option if you’re not into the fruity stuff. With that big of a selection there’s bound to be at least one flavor you like, and the drink concoction options are endless!
3. It goes well with a variety of mixers…
With all the flavors Burnett’s has to offer, you can make a mixed drink with almost anything. Of course, the plain variety is great for making Bloody Mary’s, screwdrivers, and other classic cocktails, but with the fruity flavors you can really get creative. The basic fruit kinds provide a good base for mixing in sprite or sparkling water, or for turning a plain vodka tonic into something a little more flavorful. Or, mix a fruit flavor with it’s corresponding juice (say, orange with orange juice) and it’ll taste like you’re not even drinking any alcohol at all. Which brings me to my next point…
4. You can’t even taste it if you mix it with something good
If you mix Burnett’s with a proper amount of your mixer you honestly won’t be able to taste the alcohol. If I were to have a drink with a more expensive vodka I wouldn’t be able to taste the difference either, so there’s no point in buying something super expensive that’s just going to be mixed with something else in the end anyway. If you really feel desperate to mask Burnett’s taste, just throw in a strong flavored juice like orange juice or pineapple juice and I promise it’ll go down easy.
5. It comes in a plastic bottle that’s easy for transporting
At some places you can get an even smaller (and cheaper) bottle of Burnett’s that comes in a plastic bottle rather than glass. This makes it easy to travel with, whether you’re taking it on a weekend trip or just a pregame. Additionally, most of the flavors come in airplane bottles that are convenient to carry in your bag for when you need just a small amount while out on the town, or are in for a long flight.
6. You can make bomb alcoholic popsicles with it
It’s summer, so if you’re like me and are constantly sweating/dying of heatstroke after just taking a step outside, vodka popsicles are your best bet in keeping cool while drinking. With the variety of Burnett’s flavors you can make a range of popsicles, including some of these babies, or experimenting with your own combinations. These pops are perfect for taking poolside, to the beach, or to a darty or tailgate, helping you stay #CoolForTheSummer.
7. You can clean with it
Yup that’s right, vodka actually makes a pretty good house cleaner. That bottle of (plain flavored) Burnett’s is good for cleaning glass surfaces, getting stains out of your clothes, and making your flowers last longer. No judgement if you sneak in a couple shots while cleaning to make the experience more enjoyable.
8. It’s relatively lower in calories than other liquors (and beer and wine)
I live by the saying “alcohol calories don’t count”, however if you aren’t like me and are watching your calories, Burnett’s (and most other vodkas) is lower in calories than tequila, gin, whiskey, and beer and wine. The difference is slight between liquors; Burnett’s rings in at 64 calories per fluid ounce, gins are typically around 73 calories, tequila and whiskey are about 70, and bourbon is around 95, but every calorie counts, right?
Mix with flavored sparkling water or another low or no-cal beverage to keep your drink on the lighter side.
9. No one will steal it, because no one else really likes it
Have you ever been at a party and had a friend take some of your alcohol? Well luckily I don’t have that problem because when I tell my friends I’m drinking Burnett’s they tend to get a disgusted look on their face and say they don’t want it. Which I’m perfectly okay with because it means more for me.
10. Taking shots of it will make you look like a real champ
All the haters out there who believe Burnett’s is gross will really think you’re the life of the party if they see you taking shots of it. I personally don’t even think the fruity flavored Burnett’s are bad to take shots of, so if you can do it without a chaser then you’ll look extra bold.
#SpoonTip: Spoon University does not support binge drinking or underage drinking. Please drink responsibly (even if you are at a college party and you’ve chosen to drink Burnett’s).
So now with all these wonderful reasons I bet you all are taking a step back and thinking that maybe you should be buying Burnett’s after all. I won’t say I told you so…