Just like food, each building on campus has its own distinct flavor. From the moment you walk through the doors, you get a strong sense of the building’s vibe and unstated code of conduct, which can easily be compared to a specific food. Here’s what foods some of U of M’s most notable buildings would definitely be in their next lives.
1. The UGLi: Seven-Layer Bars
Just like the distinctive atmosphere of each floor of the UGLi, each layer of a seven-layer bar is made with completely different ingredients. The beauty of it, though, is how surprisingly well they all work together to form something great.
2. Markley: Apple Cottage Cheese Pancakes
Even though every freshman who lives there tries to make themselves feel better by telling saying it’s the “most social dorm”, everyone knows that Markley is the most disgusting place to live on campus. Just like living in a cockroach-infested shoebox for an entire year doesn’t sound appealing, neither do these apple cottage cheese pancakes.
3. The Union: Mac and Cheese
Mac and cheese is a staple of any college student’s diet. Similarly, The Union is one of Michigan’s oldest and most recognizable buildings on campus. Just like our good friend mac and cheese, we know that The Union will always be there for us.
4. Law Library: Avocado Toast
Just like the photoshoot of you walking through the Law Quad, avocado toast is easily the most basic brunch food to ever exist. Obviously, the two go together perfectly.
8. The UMMA: Crepes
Just like a trip to the UMMA on a weekend afternoon, serving up a batch of crepes is an easy way to make you feel cultured AF.
9. Ross: Caviar
What better to pair with the most pretentious building on campus than the world’s most pretentious food, caviar? Just be careful not to spill any of it on your tuxedo.
10. Angell/Mason/Tisch: Crème Brûlée
This building(s?) wins for being most confusing. The second you walk in a side entrance, you’re already lost. In what world are the rooms that start with a 1 on the second floor? Such a complicated building can only be represented by an equally complicated food, crème brûlée. Not even in Zeke, from High School Musical, can master it. If the name isn’t intimidating enough, don’t forget that making crème brûlée requires a blowtorch.
11. CCRB: Salad
No matter how much you dress it up, most people that eat salad do so because they know it’s good for them, not because they enjoy it. This is just like going to the dark, dingy, outdated CCRB. You go because you know you should, but it is rarely an enjoyable experience. No one can really blame you for not having a good time at a gym that smells like sweaty feet and old gym mats. When you’re at the CCRB, chances are, you’d really rather be anywhere else.
12. IM Building: Açai Bowl
You get an açai bowl to feel ~clean~ and ~healthy~, which are the same reasons you go to the brand new IM building. Even though it’s basically on the other side of the world, it’s worth it. Just as an açai bowl is so pretty that it makes you want to eat healthy, the IM building is so nice it actually makes you want to workout.
13. MLB: Everything Bagel
There’s a little bit of everything on an everything bagel (obviously), but it all tastes amazing together. Because of its massive lecture halls, almost every popular class is held in the MLB. From COMM 102, to STATS 250, to PSYCH 11, or Arab-Israeli conflict, you are bound to have at least one class in the MLB while you’re at Michigan. Not to mention that, for some reason, the foreign language offices are all upstairs too. All of the random flavors of an everything bagel are only fitting for the MLB.
Next time you’re walking to class, instead of staring into space, you can now just imagine each building as a food. Make the same walking route a little more interesting — as food always does.