Growing up, I surrounded myself with “Harry Potter” whenever possible. I read and re-read the books almost yearly. I watched the movies every time I could convince someone that it was time for a marathon. One Christmas, my parents even surprised my siblings and I with a trip to Universal Studios to see Hogwarts and Hogsmeade for ourselves.
Even now that I’ve moved beyond the socially acceptable age to be fawning over “Harry Potter,” I still return to the books from my childhood when I’m looking for entertainment. My most recent re-read got me thinking about how the Harry Potter characters would adjust to life in the USA today.
After careful reading and watching, as well as some consulting with other Potterheads, I’ve made an unofficial (but totally official) guide to the fast food restaurant that the central Hogwarts students of Harry’s time would frequent if they lived in the United States today.
Harry Potter: McDonald’s
Similar to Harry, McDonald’s is quite obviously the chosen one of fast food joints. No matter where you are in the world, you can chow down on your favorite burger, chicken nuggets or, if you’re lucky and the machine isn’t broken, a soft serve cone.
Ron Weasley: Kentucky Fried Chicken
Of all the students that attended Hogwarts throughout the series, Ron has the most famously inexhaustible appetite. Whenever the golden trio sits down to a meal in the Great Hall, it’s like Ron’s never seen food before.
One of the most recognizable food scenes from The Sorcerer’s Stone features Ron chowing down on a chicken wing in each hand, so I’m sure he would love to devour one of KFC’s chicken buckets.
Hermione Granger: Panera Bread
Because Hermione is famous for her tendency to rush off to the library in any time of need, I’m sure she would put a decent amount of research into what restaurant would be best. Panera offers the perfect balance of healthy ingredients, options for customization, and freshly baked sweets so that, no matter what she’s craving, she can get exactly what she wants.
#SpoonTip: If you’re busy studying, like Hermione always is, you can order Panera to be delivered to your apartment, office, or library without ever having to take a break.
Ginny Weasley: Wendy’s
Ginny’s connection with Wendy’s goes far beyond her possibly being the twin of the girl on the logo. Wendy’s is known for being absolutely savage and funny on Twitter, which is exactly how I imagine Ginny’s personality would be when she’s just hanging out with her friends. I’m sure she would be a fan of the sweet and savory deliciousness that comes from dunking salty fries in an ice-cold frosty.
Neville Longbottom: SweetGreen
Throughout the novels, although Neville struggles to remember even the little things and cast the most simple spells, he always excels at Herbology. That’s why Neville would be found chowing down at veggie-centric salad chain, SweetGreen. They started in Washington DC but now have over 80 locations and are always growing, just like every Harry Potter fan’s love for Neville grows throughout the series.
Fred and George Weasley: Taco Bell
Taco Bell is the OG food joint for late night munchies, which, for some reason, I get the feeling that Fred and George would be getting quite often if they lived in the United States today. The twins would be completely unafraid to try every single weird food hybrid that the chain comes up with, not to mention that they’re probably also the ones behind the magic of this picture.
Luna Lovegood: Jamba Juice
Unfailingly sweet, eccentric, and loyal to her friends, Luna always seems to show up with an interesting line just when the series needs it. I’m sure that she could be found sipping on a cloyingly sweet Jamba Juice smoothie, probably something off the secret menu and with the newest, trendiest superfood ingredients.
Cho Chang: Chick-fil-A
Cho is one of those characters that, at least for me, I had really high hopes for when she was first introduced, but she ended up disappointing me. Although Chik-fil-A’s food, especially the chicken nuggets, waffle fries, and cookies and cream milkshakes, never fail me, it’s hard to get over the fact that I’ll never get Chick-fil-A on a Sunday.
Cedric Diggory: Dairy Queen
Just like a Dairy Queen blizzard, Cedric Diggory was gone from Hogwarts far too soon. While he was only a central character in The Goblet of Fire, he quickly earned himself a permanent place in my heart.
His death flipped the switch for everyone in the Wizarding world. Lord Voldemort had undeniably returned and there was no going back. Next time you’re handed your blizzard upside-down think of Cedric and how he changed the series before you make that flip and chow down.
Draco Malfoy: Chipotle
Through all of the issues that Chipotle has had with food safety and the struggle with guac being #extra, we can’t help but still love it. The same goes with Draco Malfoy. He’s the kind of character that you hate, but couldn’t imagine Hogwarts without him.
Lavender Brown: Starbucks
Between hanging onto Professor Trelawney’s every word and falling in love with Ron, Lavender had what I would imagine to be a basic girl’s experience at Hogwarts. I’m sure she could be found sipping on an expensive Starbucks drink and gossiping with Parvarti Patil. Oh, and you would know about it too, because she would post tons of pictures on Snapchat and Instagram.
Now that you can eat like your favorite Harry Potter character, it’s about time you picked up some takeout and settled in for a very long movie marathon. If you can make it through without stopping, it will only be 20 hours. Maybe pick up an extra meal while you’re at it—you’re going to need the fuel.