It’s the weekend, and you’re either out with your significant other or downtown trying to get it in with a one night stand. On these days, I’m partial to downing a few doubles or triples. Maybe even a couple shots. Alcohol generally helps me lower my standards (you can decide which ones) and act less awkward when someone hits on me. “Beer goggles” are totes super helpful at making my sex life more active.
And it’s not just me, it’s you and everyone else. Alcohol helps lower your inhibitions and makes you think that your performance in bed is better. That’s a myth people─I’ve been burned by whiskey dick way too many times. But you continue to drink it and hope that it increases your chances of getting lucky.
So what happens to your sex life when you consistently drink? It can’t really be all that bad, right? Besides the obvious whiskey dick problem guys get? It’s the alcohol’s fault that they can’t get it up when you finally get to the bedroom, after all. It’s not like they don’t appreciate that you’re wearing some expensive boob jail and are good to go.
Well, not so fun fact: alcohol increases sexual desire but makes sexual performance a lot harder than you’d think. In some cases, alcohol can lead to sexual dysfunction alongside alcoholism. So much for it helping make my panties drop when I go home with someone.
Now, you’re gonna tell me something along the lines of “But, that’s an extreme case” or something. No. Stop talking. We associate more technical medical terms with something serious. Well, guess what? “Whiskey dick” is just a nickname for alcohol-related erectile-dysfunction. Boom. You just got scienced.
How Alcohol Affects Men
Whiskey dick aside, alcohol inhibits testosterone production. This messes with your sex life because testosterone is hella important when it comes to libido and arousal. Basically, if you drink it’s super hard to get hard─even masturbating is difficult. On top of that, drinking makes sex less pleasurable. And isn’t that the point of sex? To have fun (I know it’s not—evolution and all that jazz)?
You should know that it’ll probably take longer to get off, as alcohol increases difficulty in attaining orgasm. Your partner may even get bored if you take too long. Seriously, no one wants a guy just jack-hammering them forever because they can’t fucking finish. And the worst bit? Alcohol decreases the intensity of your orgasm. It’s not going to be nearly as satisfying.
Also, it seems that peeps may be more likely to attempt unprotected sex and other risky sexual acts.
How Alcohol Affects Women
So, I could repeat how alcohol affects women similarly to men. But, I’d be lying. Alcohol’s effect of the sex lives of women is like us, full of mixed results. While some women report the same problems as men, other women say that drinking alcohol makes them experience greater sexual arousal.
From experience, I can definitely vouch that both sides exist. But it’s definitely true that orgasming will take longer when you’re intoxicated. And it doesn’t feel as good when your partner finally gets you off. But on the plus side, at least it sometimes feels better while you’re trying to get there.
Since alcohol makes it easier for women to let down their inhibitions, they may be more open to new things. BUT. Do not, I repeat, do not let someone put food anywhere near your va-jay-jay. Also b-t-dubs, alcohol makes you taste gross down there. You’re better off eating pineapple.
Your Sex Life off Alcohol
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ll sometimes down a couple shots to tone down my awkwardness. Hands up if you’re with me on the whole drink-till-it’s-not-weird tactic. Without alcohol, you have to face those awkward moments during sex and, eventually, you’ll realize that those moments aren’t so awkward. You might even become more confident in bed the less you drink.
The best part? You remember the sex and you can work to improve your sex life by figuring out what you like. After all, if you drink you’ll desensitize areas on your body and it’ll be hard to figure out if you like anything new. You don’t need booze to get it going, there’s plenty of natural aphrodisiacs if you need help.