This weekend, my roommate and I were walking through the park with bagels in hand talking about the sad but true stories of our (practically nonexistent) love lives. 

We found a sunny spot just as she finished telling her story. "So then he asked me, 'what's it taste like?' And I was just like, 'um, salty.' Then he said, 'dammit, I've been trying to eat more pineapple.'"

This made me wonder—does pineapple really make our... stuff taste better? Or is it just something we tell ourselves so we feel better when another person's face is between our legs?

pineapple, sweet, juice
Alex Shapiro

According to one study, eating large amounts of pineapple not only makes it taste better, but also sweeter. The study also found that men like the taste of women more than women like the taste of men, regardless of what they eat, which wasn't exactly news to me.

Another source claims that eating any fruit would cause your "bodily secretions" (yuck) to taste better, but the other foods you eat, your overall health, and many other factors contribute to the taste of your nether-regions as well. However, according to the few random "anecdotal studies" sprinkled around the internet, pineapple does seem to have the biggest effect.

The (unfortunately) limited data seems to claim that the taste of both men and women are positively affected by the consumption of pineapple—regardless of whether it’s fresh, juiced, or canned. For best results, be sure you’re eating or drinking it for several days before the big event.

Photo by Pineapples | Unsplash

pineapple on unsplash

In general, anything you eat is going to affect the way you taste. One doctor claims, "Anything we smell or taste on the body is part of an excretory process.” So basically, whatever you put into your body has to come out eventually, whether it’s through sweat, body odor, or sexual “secretions.”

So why is there little to no research on what foods do or don't definitively make us taste better? According to one source, it’s because there’s no money to be made from it. She notes, "These days people who get funded to do sex research are often funded through pharmaceutical companies so they can claim ownership of something like 'the next female Viagra' or capitalize on a medical model—not pour money into sex and lifestyle stuff.”

This means companies would rather come up with a pill to make your lady parts taste like pineapple instead of proving that just eating pineapple could potentially have the same effect.

Alex Shapiro

So does this mean we should all run out to the nearest Trader Joe's and stock up on pineapple juice before we make plans this weekend? According to the limited data, it wouldn't hurt. But if you're really concerned about how you taste, maintain a healthy diet and keep your intimate parts clean and you should be good to go.