That's right, ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of year again. Christmas music fills the airwaves, and dreidels get their yearly spin. I can almost hear the sound of Christmas bells and Hanukkah gelt now. As the holidays come into full swing, so do the scrumptious (and terrifying) foods that come with it. So today, we shall settle the score between the two feuding holidays and their battle over holiday food glory with...
The most epic holiday food showdown ever.
After talking extensively with my boyfriend's (Jewish) mother and doing copious amounts of research on both beloved holidays, I present to you a comprehensive list on some of the celebration's top food stars.
Hanukkah
Enter our first contestant into the ring, humble and Judaic: Hanukkah. Hanukkah (or Chanukah) lasts eight days and nights and celebrates the miracle of the Hanukkah Menorah. Traditional Hanukkah foods are typically oily and fried as an homage to this miracle.
While a less important Jewish holiday, Hanukkah became popularized due to its proximity to Christmas. But don't get me wrong, Hanukkah is actually older than Christmas. That's right, second century BC, baby.
Christmas
Next, the classic and ever-beloved Christmas. Christmas is the highly marketed and mega popular holiday in the western world that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. Straight up in a manger, son of (the Christian-faith-based) God. Santa, presents, cookies, what's not to love about this popular and commercialized holiday?
Now onto the food matchups. The following rounds will be comprised of different dish matchups, appetizers, main dishes, desserts, etc. So now America, with an open heart and an empty stomach, I say unto you in the words of this uncle: 'Allez cuisine!'Round 1: Appetizers
Christmas: Cheese Balls
Cheese Balls are an American classic. They fill Figi catalogues year-round, but their chance to step into the limelight is during the Christmas season.
Grade: B-
Baked Brie
Another Christmas cheese-y classic. Super gooey. Super delicious. A more ~fancy~ Christmas staple, my lactose intolerance be damned.
Grade: A-
Hanukkah: Latkes
Latkes are a crunchy, greasy, potato pancake of goodness (best served with applesauce). A true classic.
Grade: A-
Round 2: Main Course
Christmas: Christmas Roast
Traditional Christmas dinner is different for every family, but the most popular go-to meal involves some sort of large hunk of roasted meat. Think cured ham or turkey.
Grade: B
Hanukkah: Brisket
Brisket is a piece of meaty goodness sent from the gods. While the same is true for traditions varying within families, Brisket is a staple for many families.
Grade: A to B- (depends on who cooks it)
Round 3: Drinks
Christmas: Eggnog
Ah, the mysterious, but everlasting winter drink. Many have definitely heard of it, but never gotten around to actually trying it. Either way this creamy, milky drink persists in the hearts of many, making it the ultimate Christmas classic.
Grade: B
Hanukkah: Manischewitz
Get ready to get turnt. The Hebrews know their wine, and this grapey, sweet wine will be sure to liven up even the most boring of holiday parties.
Grade: A+
Round 4: Dessert
Christmas: Cookies
So. Many. Cookies.
Grade: A++
Hanukkah: Sufganiyot
These are basically jelly-filled donuts hailing from Israel. They're fried. So yes, they're delicious.
Grade: A
BONUS ROUND!
Here just some quirky and fun foods I found along the way that deserve a category of their own.
Hanukkah: Gefilte Fish
Basically a boneless, pale fish meatball.
Gelt
Chocolate Coins Bish.
Christmas: Mincemeat Pie
No meat here, but there is a little bit of beef fat thrown in for kicks and giggles.
Fruit Cake
It wouldn't be Christmas without the notorious fruit cake. Has anyone actually tried fruit cake before? Or is it just an urban legend? We may never know.
Conclusion
When it comes down to it, both holidays are celebrated with deliciously dangerous food. Who am I to decide which holiday has it better? The true winner here is anyone who gets to nosh on any of these scrumptious holiday foods, Christian and Jewish alike.
Load up on the comfort food while you can folks. Before you know it, January 1st will be here and everyone's "diet" starts again, religion aside (until next holiday season).