So, you’re graduating. One day, sooner rather than later, you’ll be a pro at doing your taxes for a double income household and writing off donations to charity, but for now, you still have a few weeks of young adulthood left. Although you could spend the time studying for your final exams, what you’ll value more in sixty years is the memory of your sizzling graduation Borg names (check out our explainer on what Borg is if you need a reminder). How else will your grandchildren know you were fire-emoji-level cool?
Below is a list of some titillating graduation Borg names I found while searching the dark web, along with a few of my own making (can you tell which ones I thought up?). Need some Borg recipe inspo? Check out our roundup of Borg recipes for every liquor.
Im-BORG-ster Syndrome
This is for the people who lied on their resume and now have no idea what they’ll be doing for the rest of their lives.
Borgs get Degrees
This is for the students who are just barely graduating and are proud of it.
BORGan Stanley
This is for all the Econ bros enjoying the yummiest thing in the whole wide world: nepotism.
The Borginator 2: Judgment Day
This is an appropriately dramatic Borg name to use for the last fun parties you will ever attend. Just kidding, I’m sure wine and charcuterie parties are just as exhilarating!
It’s all a-Borg the Insurance Plan
This is for the pragmatic graduates, who had several job options to choose from and made sure you knew about it.
“To borg, or not to borg, that is the borg-tion” — William Shakes-Borg
This is for the drama and theater majors. Need I say more?
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Borg!”
This is for the film majors, who are probably the only people who know this quote comes from the film, Gone with the Wind (1939). I didn’t even know they had Borgs back then.
From Borg to Good
This is for anyone who’s seriously glowed up since freshman year! I thought I was going to glow up in college, but turns out I peaked in kindergarten.
Who am I without my Borg?
This is for the existential dread kiddos. The answer is a college graduate.
Help! I’ve fallen and can’t Borg up.
This is for the students who have romanticized old age and can’t wait for retirement.