It happens to us all. You meet someone who suddenly turns your world upside down. Your mind is constantly cluttered with thoughts of him or her and you can no longer picture your future without them by your side. Then one day it’s over and you’re expected to keep moving on and living life with a broken heart.
As a hopelessly-romantic teenaged girl, I have been a victim of heartbreak more than once. In my short time at college I can honestly say that I have experienced the feeling of losing someone and feeling like you have lost yourself and your way. For those of you who haven’t received the gift of heartbreak just yet, it’s definitely not going to be a present you enjoy opening.
However, I have learned that this feeling is not permanent. It may feel like it will be forever in the moment, but here are some tips and tricks I have used to learn to live my life focusing on my happiness rather than on my heartbreak.
It’s Okay to be Sad
It’s completely normal to be upset, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. In the wise words of my wonderful father, it is okay to feel the pain and own the hurt. You are not expected to feel nothing and pretend you are okay. It is okay to accept your feelings and live with the hurt for a while.
You’re Not Alone
Although it may seem like you are the only one in the world who has ever felt this intense hurt, there are many people around you who have most likely felt the same way. Some of your closest friends have probably felt the heartbreak that you are feeling so don’t be afraid to ask for a shoulder to cry on.
Don’t be Afraid of Getting Help
The word “therapy” sometimes has a negative connotation, but if you can’t seem to shake your blues, then talking to someone can be a great way to let go of some built-up emotions. Therapists are unbiased sources that can’t gossip or share your secrets and usually have some tips or advice to help you get through a tough time. Most colleges even have free and anonymous counseling services for students. This means your friends won’t know you’re talking to someone and your parents won’t have to worry about you racking up medical bills.
Start a Journal
Something that helped me a lot when I was lost in my own thoughts was journaling. When your mind is running wild, try getting your ideas and feelings out on paper. The next time you feel like picking up the phone and texting your ex, pick up a pen instead. If you don’t like writing, try drawing or coloring. Adult coloring books are known to be extremely soothing and relieve stress.
Take a Break from Drinking
There is a direct correlation between the number of shots you take and the number of drunk texts you send to your ex. Use this time of grief to live a sober life and stay away from depressants like alcohol or other drugs that you may be using as a crutch. You may think you need these to have a good time but really they will only make things worse.
Exercise More
Take your sadness and anger out at the gym rather than taking it out on a carton of ice cream. Yoga and soul cycle are two specific exercises that are known to reduce stress and promote mental health and strength.
Don’t Take it Out on Your Stomach
After a bad breakup people go one way or the other: they eat too much and begin to binge eat, or they don’t eat enough and begin to starve themselves. Although your heart is broken, you don’t have to break down your body too. Stay away from the scale and calorie counting and focus on bettering yourself. Try to take the time post-breakup making a new food plan or taking up cooking. Maybe even try out a new eating style like gluten-free, vegetarian, or sugar-free.
Take Time to be With Yourself
This time shouldn’t just be about learning to move on from your ex, it should be about learning how friggin awesome you are. Eat a meal alone. Take up a new hobby. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love your thunder thighs or blue eyes. Learn to love being alone.
You don’t need someone else to fall in love with when you have yourself.