If you were a teen in 2008 (or have Netflix) and like to live vicariously through the glamorous lives of Upper East Siders, you’ve watched “Gossip Girl.” You’ve spent countless nights wondering whether or not Blair and Chuck were meant to be, if Jenny would learn how to apply eyeliner, and who really was behind those alerts tagged with the iconic “Xoxo, Gossip Girl.” Basically, you were obsessed.
You may have even thought you were “such a Serena” or “more of a Blair,” but if you really want to know which character you are most like, look no further than your signature brunch order. Here’s which “Gossip Girl” character you are most like, based on your what’s accompanying your morning mimosas.
Avocado Toast: Serena van der Woodsen
Much like Serena, you’re trendy and you know it. Dubbed the “It Girl of the Upper East Side,” Serena had an affinity for all things of the moment, be them a new Birken or a new boyfriend. (We’re looking at you, Tripp van der Bilt.) Despite this, her desire to constantly improve herself and those around her kept her at the epicenter of her circle of friends, and for good reason.
Newsflash: Avocado toast is the Serena van der Woodsen of brunch. It’s constantly evolving to stay on trend with new toppings, from eggs to hummus. Yet, its base is timeless, keeping it a mainstay of Instagram-friendly brunches.
Pancakes: Blair Waldorf
Ah, Blair. Everyone’s favorite villain with a heart of gold. The best friend and constant adversary of Serena, Blair is your classic overachiever. She will do anything to rise to the top, especially if it involves blackmail tinted with flair. While a stack of pancakes may not haze a teacher to ensure a spot at Yale, it definitely remains Queen Bee of the brunch table.
A pancake doesn’t want to be compared to a waffle, just like how Blair really wishes you would stop comparing her to Serena. Therefore, a pancake is constantly upping its game, adding more syrup, more toppings, and more fillings. But at the end of the day, a pancake is a just comfort food, sitting on plate, waiting for you to eat (love) it.
The Special: Nate Archibald
Nate Archibald is a stand up guy with perhaps the only partially working moral compass on “Gossip Girl.” Despite constantly finding himself in sticky situations, like that weird half-relationship with Jenny, Nate somehow manages to do the right thing, even if it means putting his needs second.
Known for his hatred of pure Upper East Side elitism, Nate constantly tries to normalize himself. Of course, he never quite reaches the level of the great brunch equalizer — eggs and bacon, with a side hashbrowns. But offered on nearly every menu before noon, The Special aims to please everyone, just like our dear Nate.
Chuck Bass: Bloody Mary
Chuck Bass has a food pyramid entirely of his own. It’s composed of three groups: booze, money, and women. Despite maturing throughout the show, Chuck will always be a thrill seeker at heart. Because he’s in constant pursuit of anything to make him feel alive, he would definitely order, like, all the alcohol at brunch.
Already sedating yours and Chuck Bass’ need for a thrill in the AM, a Bloody Mary is more than a vague hangover cure. It’s the drink for those who love grand gestures thanks to its characteristic garnishes of bacon, celery, and yes, cheeseburgers. Seeing as Chuck is the guy who made the grandest of gestures and got his girlfriend into Columbia, I’d like to think a Bloody Mary is his drink of choice.
Dan Humphrey: Waffles
Your waffle addiction obviously stems from the fact that Dan was somehow literally always eating waffles (shout out to Rufus). Really though, waffles are porous, just like Dan. He constantly absorbed and adapted to the environment around him, making him the perfect informant for our fave sh*t- stirrer, “Gossip Girl.” Basically, Dan is the waffle and the Upper East Side is the syrup — he took it all in and somehow made the gossip juicer in a couple texts or less.
Vanessa Abrams: Açaí Bowl
Are you the kind of person who would work in the local coffee shop for more than just the employee discount? Do you always manage to wear too many accessories, yet somehow make it work? Are you also the most calm and level-headed person in your friend group? Are you secretly Vanessa Abrams?
Even if you’re not secretly Vanessa, an Açaí bowl is clearly your go-to brunch order. You need fuel for all your bad-assery and activism, and Açaí provides all the vitamins and antioxidants to get you through the day.
Jenny Humphrey: Breakfast Pizza
Brunch pizza is misunderstood. Jenny Humphrey is misunderstood. I mean, can you really throw an egg on anything and call it brunch? Yep, just like Jenny really thought too much eyeliner and fishnet stockings were going to make her look intimidating.
By ordering a brunch pizza, you’re basically “trying to make fetch happen,” just like how Jenny was constantly trying to one-up Blair, start a fashion line, and run away from home all at the same time. The bottom line? You’re constantly trying your best, and we love you for it.
Although high school may have ended, “Gossip Girl” is forever. As a self-proclaimed Blair Waldorf in the making, I can vouch for this brunch connection. I am always on the hunt for the best pancakes, after all.