As a student at the U of Iowa, I've had a few run-ins with Hawkeye Vodka—run-ins translating to "hating everything about everything, why did I consume this?" Don't do that to yourselves, loves—here are some Smirnoff Vodka cocktails that will let you turn up with ease. Anything's better than Hawkeye. Anything.
1. Cranberry-Infused Vodka
Okay, okay, I get it—this one's remnant of one of those #basicgirl drinks freshmen order at bars, but the recipe steps it up by using actual cranberries and limes and by looking a helluva lot prettier. Give this cranberry-infused vodka as a gift at your next party, and I'm sure the host will thank you.
2. Pumpkin Spice Vodka Soda
If you're feeling like truly connecting with your basic side, you should try this pumpkin spice vodka soda. I know you like pumpkin spice sh*t, and you no longer have to be ashamed of that fact. When adding vodka, you no longer have to be ashamed of anything.
3. Boozy Vodka Hot Chocolate
Feeling those winter chills? Or perhaps you're just throwing a holiday shindig and want something to liven up the crowd? This boozy vodka hot chocolate is ideal for either situation, and it's super creamy and simple to make.
4. Vodka Martini
If you're trying to pretend to not drink straight shots, you order a martini. The drink is basically hard liquor and a touch of vermouth, so you get the most shwasty for your sip. I feel like it's slightly classier to offer someone an elegant vodka martini than to be like, "hey man, wanna just chug this stuff?"
5. Moscow Mule
Don't worry, there aren't any weird zoo animals in this drink. A mix of vodka and spiced beer, a Moscow mule is sure to warm you on any cold night. Plus, you just throw it in a mug and garnish with some lime wedges and you're done, simple as that.
6. Lemon Sorbet Champagne Cocktail
I don't know about you guys, but while I know there's a difference between sorbet and ice cream, it just sounds like the fancy version of your favorite childhood treat. Hence, this lemon sorbet champagne cocktail is basically alcoholic nostalgia and totally acceptable to consume after a weeknight dinner. Like, as long as you don't have a 9:30 am class tomorrow morning.
7. Mars Explosion
You know your drink is bad*ss AF if it looks like a ball of fire, and this Mars explosion doesn't disappoint. Vodka mixes with rum and orange to create a tangy beverage that tastes and looks amazing. Put on a leather jacket and start referring to everyone as "bruh,"—you're just that much cooler than everyone else.
8. Rasberrini
First off, props for the super cute and innovated name, but let's move onto the important stuff: this Rasberrini drink is basically an alcoholic slushie and I'm loving it. Made with frozen raspberries and a hint of lemon juice, it's much more fun than those smoothies you're drinking at the gym.
9. Vodka Sunrise
This is the drink to bust out if you want to prove to your friends that you're more than just shots and cheap wine. Standing by its name, a vodka sunrise shows a complete gradient from shimmering yellow sun to deep red vodka at the bottom. Top that bad boy with a cherry on the side, and you'll leave your guests in awe.
10. 4th of July Fruity Cocktail
Fourth of July isn't complete without those gorgeous reds, whites, and blues, and it definitely isn't complete without a little vodka. Far more complex than your average cranberry vodka, this 4th of July drink throws in some blueberries, strawberries, and pineapple to sweeten things up. A party for a party, amirite?
11. White Russian
A classic cocktail you can feel confident with when ordering at a bar, a White Russian tastes like a blissful blend of dessert and alcohol (which is always a winner). With only four ingredients, why pay an outrageous amount for it only when you go out? Sit back and make this boozy drink at home.
12. A Frickin' Pineapple
Yes, yes, you read that right. You'll be turning an entire pineapple into a tipsy tropical adventure. Don't let that rough, jagged exterior fool you—it's super simple to slice that baby open and add vodka to make an amazingly easy Smirnoff vodka cocktail, so why wait? It's summer whenever you decide it is, darling.
13. Manischewitz Sangria
Manishewitz wine is perfect during the colder months, and sangria is perfect during any month, so why not combine the two? Give your Manischewitz sangria an extra kick by dropping in some vodka. You'll def be serving up this cocktail all winter.
14. Candy Corn Punch
Feeling a season that's more on the spooky side? This candy corn punch is perfect for Halloween season—which does, in fact, start on October 1st. So you have an excuse to drench your candy corn in whipped cream and alcohol because, no one likes those brown-orange-and-white candies that much anyway.
Vodka is always my go-to because you always know what you're going to get. These easy Smirnoff vodka cocktails are a great way to get lit while staying slight slassy. Live it up, loves, because tonight's going to be wild.