Anyone that knows me knows that I talk a big game about eating spicy food. I'm waiting for the day that a dish finally humbles me (and I'm sure my friends are, too). Ever since I heard through the grapevine about No Thai's Triple Dim Mak, I knew I had to try it, and when I did I was going to make a big scene about it. After talking it up for a few months, the day finally came. I survived the Triple Dim Mak, and I'm about to explain how it all went down.
T-Minus Five Minutes Until Triple Dim Mak
I knew I was in for a treat when I asked for the legendary spice level and the cashier told me that very few people had ever ordered the Triple Dim Mak— but it could be done. I may be dramatizing the exchange a bit (ordering the hottest item is definitely getting to my head), but she bid me good luck as I took my card and prepared for the heartburn of a lifetime.
"64". It was time to grab the steaming, red-hot dish from the counter. I could tell that it was going to be a step up from regular Dim Mak (my staple spice level for the past year and a half) when I saw that the noodles were drenched in a deep orange sauce that I had never seen before. I twirled up the noodles with my chopsticks (this part was definitely a front since I used a fork for most of this dish) and slurped up a bite of pure fire.
Moment of Truth
And it was not all that bad. Sure my face immediately turned red and I felt my tongue start to tingle, but it was the type of spice that complements the flavors without completely bringing tears to your eyes. Little did I know that it was also the sort of spice that accumulates in your mouth so that every bite is just a little hotter if you don't wash it down with something else. Nonetheless, I finished a decent amount of the dish without throwing up, crying, or giving up. I also had my (soft) friends all take a bite, and everyone lived through the experience.
About Four Hours Later
Although there were a few hours of slight stomach discomfort and inflamed red lips, I am definitely making the Triple Dim Mak a new staple. I kept eating the leftovers which probably allowed my stomachache to linger, but it was exquisite enough that I didn't care. I was also glad I decided to get spring rolls because the sweet plum sauce seemed to neutralize the insane heat I was putting into my stomach (the dumplings and spring rolls at No Thai are highly underrated).
One Day After
I somehow found myself back at No Thai less than 24 hours after trying what I would categorize as probably the 4th spiciest meal I have ever had. When it was my turn to order I knew that I would be a fraud if I ever ordered anything less than TDM again. I'm in the big leagues forever now, I guess. I was also with different people so I was ready and willing to order TDM for clout reasons alone. So I ordered it for the second time in less than 24 hours. It was just as delicious and pain inducing as I had remembered. I would like to say that I have never had two meals in a row at No Thai be consistent as far as spice level goes until I ordered TDM two days in a row.
Final Review
I am not sure if I went back to No Thai a second day in a row because it was just that good or because I can't say no to people. Either way, I'm glad I had a day to let the Secret Menu Spice sink in.
Flavor: 10/10. I ordered the Pad Thai Curry both times and the TDM did not compromise the flavor at all. The pineapple in the noodles also was a nice breath of sweetness. I did not need to add soy sauce or plum sauce, which I do sometimes, so I was hype that it was a star on its own.
Spice: 9/10. It was hot. I'm sure not feeling my best right now. This dish is not for the faint of heart or for anyone who has to physically exert themselves within five hours of eating TDM. Even worse, drinking water sort of adds to the cauldron of acids that fester in your stomach so you can't really eat or drink anything for a bit. Since the water feels like drinking gasoline, I would definitely not recommend this as a solid pre-going out meal. Also, I just can't rate anything a 10 if I didn't cry, and I didn't.
Value: 9/10. I *usually* do not go to No Thai more than once a week so I would certainly be willing to subject myself to mild stomach pains once a week to get that sort of spice high. I think ten dollars is a little pricey for just noodles and sauce (I do not get meat, but it's still the same price), but clearly I had no problem dropping 22 dollars in two days for it so I will definitely be back.
If Yoga Flame or Dim Mak are not cutting it for you, definitely give the TDM a shot. At least you can say that you lived through the spiciest item at No Thai.