Top 10 Weird Chases for Alcohol That Do and Don't Work

It’s Friday afternoon, and you’ve just returned from the grocery store. The fridge is well-stocked with delectable foods and you’re excited about that party happening later tonight—all that’s left to do is rest and enjoy the remaining rays of light.

All is well in your household. Until you remember that oh CRAP I forgot to get chase!

Any respectable college student has an arsenal of the usual sodas and juices, otherwise known as chase or chaser, that help ease alcohol’s tear-inducing, burning taste. But there’s always an exception to the rule, and today, you’re that exception.

But fret not—the perfect chase doesn’t have to be some kind of sugary liquid. Improvisation is key. We present to you David's five weird chases that might end up saving your night and Tiffany's five weird ones to stay away from, no matter how desperate you are.

David: Chase You Can Believe In 

1. Milk

Milk. The most mainstream weird chase you can find. Most people will have some kind of milk in their fridge, and when it’s go time with no soda or juice for the party, use this drink to cleanse your palate of any alcohol.

Just be conscious of how much milk you're actually drinking, because if you combine too much dairy with alcohol, yakking might not be the only problem you’ll be dealing with.

2. Maple Syrup

Shoutout to Log Cabin Syrup for being there when no other chase was. Who says maple syrup only belongs on pancakes and waffles and not in a solo cup ready to be consumed?

The stickiness of the syrup coats itself all over your mouth and takes a while to swallow, so you know this chase will stay with you for the long run. Just swish that baby around and the taste of alcohol will disappear in a few seconds!

3. Ice Cream

Let’s be honest. Ice cream is good any time of day, anywhere, and any kind of situation. Why would it be any different when it comes to alcohol?

Replace the bitter flavor of your vodka with a nice scoop of cheesecake brownie ice cream or banish the face-cringing taste of that whiskey with the sugary goodness of mint chocolate chip. If you’re feeling real ballsy, drizzle some maple syrup on your ice cream and make it a two-for-one double chase special.

4. Tomato Sauce

While other choices on this list may attempt to purge your taste buds with something sweet and sugarcoated, you can also arm yourself with hot piping, savory tomato sauce. Not only will this heavy, viscous sauce vanquish the sharp flavors of liquor, it is scientifically proven that tomato and tomato-related products slow down the absorption of alcohol.

Next time someone challenges you to a drink-off, equip yourself with a jar of tomato sauce and you’ll be the heavyweight champ by the end of the night.

A personal favorite. While miso soup might not be an everyday staple chilling in your fridge, it's worth getting a fat container of this on your next Japanese restaurant adventure. The taste of alcohol vanishes from your taste buds and is replaced by the heavy, brothy, salty flavor of the soup. Trust me when I say this—it may be the craziest hidden gem of the chase world.

Tiffany: These Will Riggity Riggity Wreck Your Night

I’m going to have to disrespectfully disagree with David here—milk is one of the nastiest chases I’ve had the misfortune of trying. Yes, it’s commonly found, and yes, it could be worse, but it’s still pretty bad as far as chases go. The silkiness of the milk intertwines with the flat, nail-polish-esque flavor of alcohol in one horrible, hellish dance. The finale is what’s waiting for you in the trash can. Lovely.

2. Sriracha/Tabasco

You wanted to get rid of the burn alcohol leaves, so you chased it down with… more burning? I mean yeah, it’ll get rid of the taste for you, but at what cost? The alcohol might be gone, but what remains is your tears, burning pain, and everlasting regret. Next time, try using hellfire instead!

3. Pearl Milk Tea

You’d think this would be a great chase, right? After all, pearl milk tea (also known as boba or, for those not in California, bubble tea) is sweet, rich, and full of happiness—everything alcohol isn’t. But its magic doesn’t extend to liquor; you’re left with a milky sourness not unlike bad milk, and with alcohol-infused tapioca pearls that you now have to fight to chew.

4. Rice Vinegar

Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, but I feel entitled to inform you that your opinion is wrong. Usually I’m all for sour things, but this is just a mistake. Vinegar does have a strong taste that you’d think would mask the taste of alcohol, but much like me at the gym, it’s too weak to actually accomplish anything.

5. More Alcohol

To those who do actually do this, I have but one question for you: why?

You're ready now. Next time you drink, impress your friends with your cool and trendy ideas! Unlike the bank, you can now put your money in a chase you believe in. Drink long and prosper (but please prosper responsibly).