There are about a million reasons you could be having diarrhea. Why exactly, you have the runs, is something I can't diagnosis from an article you're probably reading on your iPhone on the toilet (desperate googles happen, I get it).

But what I can provide you with is a list of some of the most common causes of diarrhea.

Read on for some of the most frequent causes for why you may be peeing out of your butt, and don't worry, this isn't WebMD, I'll try my best to avoid convincing you you have a brain tumor by the end of the article.

You Have a Virus

Judy Holtz

Viruses are one of the most frequent causes of diarrhea. Norovirus and rotavirus are common, and easily spread by oral-fecal contamination, even in very tiny amounts.

You can easily catch a bug on a door handle, by using the creamer at a coffee shop, or just by being around other people fighting off a similar thing.

Most of the time, these bugs are not serious and clear up within a few days.

Hand-washing is one of the best ways to prevent pathogen transfer, so wash your damn hands and don't be lazy about it. Always scrub with hot soapy water after using the bathroom and before eating.

You Ate Something You're Not Used To

cream, ice, chocolate, ice cream, dairy product
Alex Weiner

Change your diet recently? Start upping your fiber, trying out a new tea, traveling, doubling your coffee intake (#midterms), or munching on a new curry?

Sometimes just giving your body a little something it isn't familiar with can cause digestive issues. You might adjust to the new foods over time, or you may have to learn to limit certain foods.

You Ate Something Sorta Off

ham, bacon, pork, meat
Jocelyn Hsu

There are about a ton of ways your food can contract germs (seriously, pat your immune system on the back).

A lot of times, eating things that may just be a little bit off can give you diarrhea. 

Whether it's leftovers that have just begun to spoil, dirty produce, food that sat out of the fridge a wee bit too long or wasn't cooked to a high enough temperature, there are so many ways slighty-off food can cause diarrhea. 

vegetable, kale, herb, spinach
Katherine Baker

Always wash your fruits and veggies well, cook your foods to appropriate temperatures, and be careful with eating leftovers before they go bad.

#SpoonTip: Foods high in protein and carbs tend to go bad the fastest, so things like pasta, rice, potatoes, and beans, are the first to go bad. If your food is made with something acidic, like lemon juice, vinegar, or mayo, it can increase the left-over shelf-life a bit.

You're Eating Something You're Sensitive to

milk, yogurt, cream, dairy
Aakanksha Joshi

Lactose-intolerance is a common cause of diarrhea. But besides lactose, you could have an underlying sensitivity to something else, whether it be wheat, a certain meats or something high in FODMAPs (see below).

You Ate Too Many FODMAPs

vegetable, cucumber, pepper, tomato, salad
Christin Urso

FODMAPs is an acronym for fermentable oligo- di- and mono-saccharides and polyols which is basically a fancy way to say stuff that's a bit more difficult for you to digest.

These sugars are difficult to digest. Your intestines attempt ferment them and, because they're "osmotically active," they draw water to your GI tract, leading to gas and diarrhea.

vegetable, cereal, legume, meat, pea, chickpeas, garbanzo, corn
Christin Urso

Lactose (in milk), fructans (in onions, garlic, and other fruits and veggies), polyols (found in artificial sweeteners ending in -ol), and other sugars found in many varieties of produce, grains, beans, and high fructose corn syrup, are all full of FODMAPs.

FODMAPs are all over the damn place, so learning your triggers is tricky and should be done with the guidance of a nutrition professional.

You may need to experiment with limiting certain FODMAPs if you have IBS or chronic diarrhea. But don't worry - most people don't have to completely avoid them all. 

You Drank Too Much Last Night

beer, juice, cider, sweet, ice, tea
Spoon University

Alcohol, especially beer, is notorious for giving you the shits.

Not only does alcohol stimulate your intestines to make waves, you overload with system with harder-to-digest carbs, and your intestines spew out fluids and electrolytes, leading to diarrhea. 

To read more on why beer leaves you glued to the potty, read this article.

Your Medicine Is Messin' With Ya

candy, sweet, dairy product, cake mix, milk, chocolate, spam, goody
Ari Richman

A lot of medications (prescription and OTC) can give you funky poops. Even large quantities of certain vitamins from supplements (including Emergen-C) can cause diarrhea.

Antibiotics, in particular, are notorious for giving people diarrhea, because they destroy all the flora (good bacteria) in your intestines that keeps you regular.

If you're suspicious that your meds could be the culprit, do yourself a favor and instead of googling it, call your pharmacist and ask. 

You have IBS or IBD

milk, chocolate, coffee
Jocelyn Hsu

If you find yourself having frequent issues with regularity (diarrhea and/or constipation), and/or lots of stomach cramping and gas, you may have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), which is a pretty common but rarely serious condition.

Unfortunately, there aren't many efficacious treatments for IBS yet, but learning to manage symptoms can help. Check out this resource for more info

ice, water, alcohol, sake, liquor, tonic, vodka
Christin Urso

If your diarrhea is serious and ongoing, you may have IBD, or inflammatory bowel disease.

Chron's disease and Ulcerative Colitis are two uncommon but serious conditions in which your bowels are inflamed way more than they should be, and leads to frequent diarrhea.

If you're concerned about any of the above diagnosis, give your MD a visit to check things out. 

What to Do About It:

lemon, water, lemonade
Caroline Liu

No matter what the cause, be sure to stay hydrated, eat easy-to-digest-foods, and sanitize your phone if you bring it with you to the bathroom (just sayin').