It’s that time of year when we sit in front of the television, flip on TBS, and watch 24 hours of A Christmas Story. Forty million people tune in to TBS to watch this epic Christmas marathon every year on December 24th. The length of the movie is 1 hour and 34 minutes. If you were to watch it for 24 hours straight, you would have watched it 15 times. For those of you who participate in this epic marathon, I have a treat for you. I created the ultimate A Christmas Story eating and drinking game to get you through all 24 hours. Have fun.
Watch 1
You’re fresh faced and pumped to be in your Snuggie with loads of snacks, wine, pillows, and hot chocolate surrounding you. If you’re comfy and smiling as Jean Sheppard narrates the beginning of the movie — enjoy a cup of hot cocoa.
Watch 2
Now you’re happy and in good spirits as the credits roll through on one side of the screen, and the beginning of the movie starts on the other side. For watch 2, make a batch of peppermint sugar cookies and take a sip of wine each time Ralphie breaks his glasses.
Watch 3
How are we feeling? I’m assuming pretty jolly after eating cookies and drinking a glass of wine. For watch 3, makes some popcorn and try to toss and catch it in your mouth each time Ralphie day dreams.
Watch 4
Let’s take a break from snacking during this watch. Get up and stretch when Randy moans, “I can’t put my arms down!”
Watch 5
Are you awake? Let’s crack open the Fireball. Take a shot when Ralphie beats up the bullies. Go Ralphie, go.
Watch 6
Do I have your attention now that you’re awake? During this watch, I triple dog dare you to take a shot of Fireball when the dad’s disturbingly sexual leg lamp breaks. Yeah, oh shit…
Watch 7
I think it’s time for a substantial meal. Make meatloaf and mashed potatoes and eat it with the family when they sit down for dinner. Bonus points if you eat like a little piggy, just like Randy.
Watch 8
I hope that was a decent meal for you. Meatloaf can be hit or miss, but mom makes it best, right? It’s time for dessert. During watch 8, eat fudge when Ralphie goes, “OHHHHH FUDDDGGEEEEE.”
Watch 9
Alright, our bellies are full now. Let’s take a break from food. Pour yourself another glass of wine and take a sip each time you hear the annoying words, “You’ll shoot your eye out.” You might need two glasses…
Watch 10
Feeling that wine? For watch 10, suck on a lollipop when Flick gets his tongue stuck to the flag pole. Please don’t try it yourself, that’s what the lollipop is for.
Watch 11
Getting kind of delirious now? I triple dog dare you to put a bar of soap in your mouth when Ralphie gets in trouble for cursing. I know you’re curious.
Watch 12
Let’s get that soap taste out of our mouth. Order greasy Chinese food for this watch, and sing with the waiters during the last scene. Fah-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la!
Watch 13
After all this time, aren’t you the least bit curious about what Ovaltine tastes like? I bet you don’t have any lying around. In case you don’t actually know what it is, it’s a milk flavoring product. Ralphie thinks it’s gross. Amazon Now that shit and let’s see what it tastes like. “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!”
Watch 14
Hey couch potato, time to move your body. Drink some coffee and take your dog for a quick walk when all of the Basset Hounds barge into the family’s nice Chicago home. No dog to walk? Go outside anyways — breath in some fresh air.
Watch 15
You made it! You have 1 hour and 34 minutes left of this 24 hour marathon. I bet you know every line of the movie by now. And you probably never want to hear the words, “you’ll shoot your eye out” ever again. How about a glass of wine because you got through 24 hours of Ralphie day dreaming and devising a plan to get his Red Ryder BB gun.