Unless you've been living under a rock, you're aware of the unicorn craze that has taken over the food world in the past few months. The basic premise is this: Take a simple, non-magical food and turn it into a "unicorn" by creating a sparkly, rainbow version. The trend reached new heights a few weeks ago with the incredibly popular Unicorn Frappuccino that had Starbucks fans going absolutely nuts.
Everyone from Stephan Colbert to Anthony Bourdain had something to say about this colorful drink.
While I'm all for getting creative with what we eat, I definitely don't think we should be compromising the quality of our food for the sake of a trend. The general consensus on the Unicorn Frap was that it didn't taste great. Why mess with a good thing? Here are some foods that definitely should NOT become unicorns.
1. Burgers
I am a firm believer that the unicorn trend should stick to desserts and drinks, but since unicorn grilled cheese and unicorn biscuits and gravy exist, it's clear that no food is safe. Can you imagine how gross a multicolored burger would look?
2. French Fries
This one would take animal fries to a whole new level. Fries are perfect in their simplicity. There's no need to mess with something that is already so great. Keep your rainbow cheese off of my fries!
3. Pizza
Making your pizza into a unicorn is almost as bad as putting pineapple on it. Am I right, Gordan Ramsey? In all seriousness, I could totally see some pizza chain's trying to hop on the bandwagon with this one. After all, Starbucks made huge profits off the Unicorn Frappuccino.
4. Burritos
Just think about it — you bite into your warm burrito and you look down, only to see a bunch of pink and purple goop spilling out of the tortilla. Talk about an appetite killer!
5. Dim Sum
There's no need to dress up pork buns or dumplings. Sure, some dim sum places are known to add some quirkiness to their options, like decorating some of their dessert buns to look like little pigs, but that's nothing compared to the craziness that a unicorn bun would bring.
6. Acaí Bowls
This one might be controversial since acai bowls already tend to have the classic pink and purple colors of unicorn foods. However, I think that by making an acai bowl into a unicorn, it would be difficult to keep it healthy. If you don't make an acai bowl correctly, it can have tons of sugar and calories.
7. Avocado Toast
A few months ago this unicorn toast took the internet by storm, and that means avocado toast is next in line. My main issue with this unicorn toast is although it seems perfectly healthy and probably tastes good, it's so damn complicated. Is it really worth buying over 10 ingredients for one slice of toast?
8. Meatball
Mama mia! Please don't mess with my meatballs. It's super easy to dye cheese different colors, which is why no cheesy dishes are safe. Whether you top your meatballs with Parmesan or mozzarella, chances are it's not hard to turn them into a mythical creature.
9. Shawarma
I can picture it now, the delicious tahini (white sauce that normally goes on shawarma) would be so easy to dye different colors in order to make this Middle Eastern meal more magical.
10. Sushi
A rainbow roll should not be an invitation for unicorn-ifaction. Unfortunately, I can picture a "unicorn roll" all too easily. Just take a rainbow roll and add some pizazz, like maybe some tie-dyed wasabi or ginger, or some sparkly soy sauce... ew.
11. French Onion Soup
French onion soup is pretty easy to make, especially if you follow this simple recipe. However, simple and cheesy translates to easy target for unicorn lovers. I'm honestly surprised I haven't seen unicorn French Onion soup yet.
12. Chicken Wings
I would feel personally attacked if I saw unicorn chicken wings. Chicken wings mean so much to me, and to see them fall victim to this ruthless trend would be truly heartbreaking.
13. Lava Cake
Chocolate does not need to be colorful. Chocolate does not need any added magic — it is magic enough already. Lava cakes are arguably the best dessert in the world and if I ever sunk my fork into one only to see molten unicorn colors spill out, I would probably cry. Leave chocolate alone!
14. Champagne
With glitter for prosecco and recipes for unicorn mimosas everywhere, it seems like it's only a matter of time before champagne becomes the newest unicorn food. In my opinion, champagne is doing just fine on its own — it doesn't need all the extra fanciness.
I'm a sucker for food trends as much as the next person — I've waited in line for a cronut and I've Instagrammed the giant milkshake at Black Tap. But when a food trend undermines the quality of my food, I have to draw the line. Sometimes simple is better.