With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, grocery stores and drug stores alike are stocking up on food, specifically, chocolates. From truffles to heart-shaped marshmallows, chocolatiers have seemingly come up with every possibility to make your Valentine’s Day the most romantic. Though some chocolates, like Lindt and Godiva, are classics, others are a bit questionable. Mostly, I’m talking about the assorted chocolates that aren’t labeled.
Nonetheless, I thought it would be interesting to test these chocolates out, so I gathered a group of friends to use as my subjects. To judge fairly, we tried all of the chocolates without knowing their flavors. They would be judged on appearance, taste, and ranked on a scale of one to five, one being the worst, and five being the best. The scores were then averaged out to provide a definite rankings of the Russell Stover assorted chocolate Valentine’s Day Box.
11. Strawberry Cream
With its artificially pink-colored filling, we automatically knew it was some sort of berry. Words can honestly not describe the flavor that this chocolate possessed. It reminded me of the bubble-gum flavored toothpaste you’re given by the dentist as a kid. It was such a fake flavor it actually made my nose crinkle like I was eating something sour.
10. Coconut Cluster
Upon first glance, we were unsure of what this one was. It had the look of a peanut butter cup, but had speckles like it had some rice cereal in it. The first bite was confusing to say the least. The chocolate flavor was very rich, but then the texture of the filling was a bit weird. The coconut against the chocolate made for a very grainy feeling, something I would rather not experience while chowing down on some chocolate. One of my friends actually referred to the combination of the flavors and textures as a “chocolate granola bar.”
9. Peanut Butter Crunch
When we first saw the exterior, we had two thoughts. One was that it was a Twix knock-off and it was about to be the best thing we had eaten all night. The second was that it would be filled with honeycomb, which isn’t a bad option either. Sadly, though, it was neither. My first bite into it reminded me of a Butterfinger, but worse. Personally, I like Butterfingers, but something about this, was just off. It had a very bland peanut-y taste, but still had the texture that gets caught in your teeth. Not ideal.
8. Molasses Chew
This chocolate looked and tasted like a blob. It was really just mediocre at best. There was nothing to it. It had flavor, but you couldn’t really tell what it was. It really was just meh. Even though it was towards the middle of the pack, it still remained on the less favorable side.
7. Coconut Cream
As soon as we cut into this one, we knew what we were getting into. Unless it was some sort of funky peppermint patty, it would be coconut. Coconut is a great divider of all those who taste it. You either love it, or you hate it. Personally, not a fan, but nonetheless I still tried my best not to be biased. It wasn’t great. It wasn’t. But, there were just so many that were worse than it that it actually landed in the middle.
6. Roman Nougat
This one was very confusing, because it was bright pink, but had nuts in it. Surprising, this one wasn’t terrible. The cherry flavor of it wasn’t overbearing, but definitely wasn’t natural. One of my friends summed it up by saying, “I have a lot of flavors going on in my mouth right now.” Another described the taste as “a mix between chocolate and Italian ice.” It wasn’t spectacular, but it really could have been worse (I’m looking at you, Strawberry Cream).
5. Caramel
A classic chocolate combination. The caramel chocolate wasn’t bad, but was disappointing in that it is an over-used fusion of flavors. The pair was OK, but you just couldn’t taste the chocolate over the caramel. To an extent, it tasted like a Rolo. Compared to many of the others, though, the caramel chocolate was very visually pleasing.
4. Maple Nut Butter
After cutting it in half, the center of this chocolate made us think that it was filled with peanut butter. Its taste, however, convinced us otherwise. The filling was very, very sweet, and had some sort of crunch, nothing like a normal peanut butter filling. The bitterness of the dark chocolate coating, though, dulled down the filling. We initially thought that this was dark chocolate walnut, but were later surprised to learn that it in fact was maple nut butter. Overall, not bad, not bad at all.
3. Fruit and Nut Caramel
They say first is worst, but trying this chocolate before any others proved that wrong. Before even taking a bite, this chocolate showed that it would be a strong competitor with its attractive appearance. As opposed to all the others, it was coated with milk chocolate, plus it had a dark chocolate drizzle on top. Talk about the best of both worlds. This one had many components. It was hard to differentiate the nut and the fruit through the strong caramel flavor, though neither were disappointing. Though the flavors did confuse us a little, and it was on the chewier side, the fruit and nut caramel left a positive impact on our taste buds.
2. Chocolate Butter Cream
Though its shell made this chocolate look rather plain, upon cutting it, it was clear that this was a double chocolate treat. Compared to the others we had tasted, this one was more than a relief. Both the filling and coating blended well and was an overall delight to eat. We all agreed that this one more than any other resembled an actual candy bar (AKA a 3 Musketeers). Eating this chocolate was like what were to happen if you froze some chocolate frosting – the thick, artificial kind that you can’t get enough of. This was, by far, one of the best we tried.
1. Peanut Butter Cream
If you’re ever nervous about going last, don’t be. This was the last chocolate we tried, but by far, the best. To say that we didn’t expect this to be peanut butter filled would be a lie. This tasted like an enhanced Reese’s Cup. It was honestly so good. Think about the best peanut butter you’ve ever had. Now make that five times better, and that’s what this is filled with. There’s just something about the peanut butter and chocolate combo that is truly unbeatable.
All in all, I hate to say it, but my ideas of these chocolates held almost completely true. Had it not been for the chocolate butter cream and peanut butter cream chocolates, I would have been able to judge a book by its cover. So if it were me, I would try to stick to the Godiva or the Lindt over the Russell Stover chocolates this Valentine’s Day. You’ll thank me later.