I thought it would be a good idea to help all you long-time love birds keep your relationship shiny and new. If you feel like you’re in a rut, try out some of these hella sexy foods to get you in the mood to cuddle and stuff.
To shake things up even more, I’m going to take you in descending order. Keep the sexual tension going, ya know?
10. Coffee
Photo by Gabby Phi
This may come as a surprise to some, but coffee is a notorious aphrodisiac, and, no, I am not talking about the swill served in your dorm cafeteria. Maybe this is why Starbucks is an infamous pick-up spot. Brew a little java for your SO and you’ll be rewarded with more than the usual early morning eye-roll.
9. Chili peppers
GIF courtesy of whateverblog.com
This one is not for the faint of heart. Spicy chili peppers cause your brain to release endorphins (the feel-good chemicals in your brain), which rapidly increase your heart rate, making you sweat and basically imitate the feeling you get when aroused. Need I say more?
8. Pomegranates
Photo by Parisa Soraya
Though removing the seeds from pomegranates is super time-consuming and annoying, it is well worth the wait. Picture yourself delicately placing one of these little seeds on the tongue of your BAE. Good things come to those who wait, right?
7. Honey
GIF courtesy of tumblr.com
Ever wonder where the term “honeymoon” comes from? Yes, there is a reason why bees spend so much time protecting their sacred, sticky-sweet honey. Be the queen (or king) bee in your relationship and drizzle a little extra in your boo’s peppermint tea and reap the rewards.
6. Pine nuts
GIF courtesy of tumblr.com
This one may not be as glamorous as the others, but its high zinc content makes it a strong aphrodisiac, and some doctors say it improves performance “down there” (if you know what I mean…which you obviously do).
#SpoonFact: Pine nuts are an essential ingredient in pesto, which is by far the sexiest pasta sauce. So yeah.
5. Artichokes
GIF courtesy of bonappetit.com
Artichokes are known for their properties to stimulate blood flow, so I think you know where I am going with this. Start melting the butter for an extra-hot dipping sauce now.
4. Alcohol
GIF courtesy of giphy.com
We’ve all had that dreaded “What did I do last night?” moment the morning after a wild night out. There’s always one friend to blame for this moment: alcohol. Along with lowering your inhibitions, alcohol can really charge your sex drive. It can be responsible for some of the most unspeakable (and probably most fun) things you have ever done in your life. Don’t forget to pick up some discounted Cook’s champagne (classy!) on your way home from work.
3. Avocados
Photo by Samantha Thayer
Avocados have a long-standing history as extremely potent aphrodisiacs. In fact, ancient Aztecs banned their female virgins from leaving their homes during times of harvest. The bible says the apple is the forbidden fruit, but I like to think it’s this green guy that deserves that title.
2. Chocolate
GIF courtesy of imgix.net
One of the most popular guilty pleasures in the world, chocolate is the go-to item to make someone feel better or to celebrate just about anything. It causes spikes in dopamine heightening pleasure senses and making everything literally feel better. This is why tubs of chocolate ice cream are demolished during those oh-so-terribly sad times. Reverse the “sad chocolate” stereotype and use it to liven things up instead.
1. Oysters
GIF courtesy of buzzfeed.com
The coveted number one spot goes to oysters, which are perhaps the most decadent and notorious aphrodisiacs you will ever come across. This comes as no surprise to those of you who have recently binge-watched Friends for the umpteenth time. Though they feel a bit like boogers, these babies can really reignite the fire in your heart.
#SpoonWarning: Handle all of the aforementioned foods carefully. Do not eat them all at once. Keep them away from small children and the sexually frustrated – they may induce impulses to commit acts of debauchery.
Have fun, you crazy kids.