Haven’t heard of these mega-orgasmic bars from Germany? You’re not alone. I only discovered these chocolate nuggets after more than five trips to Europe and Aldi. Manufactured by Leibniz, Pick Up bars are velvety chocolate sandwiched between two cookies (or “biscuits” as they’re called in Europe).
This isn’t your run-of-the-mill milk chocolate. It’s quality German schokolade worthy of the Chancellor. In Germany, a consumer can buy a 6 pack of Pick Up bars for €1.50 – a bargain, even by American standards. However, for a buyer in the US, a 5 pack costs $18.99 plus shipping on Amazon. Preposterous.
Here are ten reasons Pick Up bars should be sold in the US for cheaper prices. Listen up Leibniz… I’ve got some solid points.
1. American consumers are already partial to chocolate sweets
Oreos? Chips Ahoy? Milano? Our diets are 50% chocolate cookies as it is. Pick Up bars would sell out instantly. Americans have been conditioned to love anything packaged, especially if there’s high calorie content involved. Leibniz wouldn’t have to break into a new market (i.e. liverwurst or tripe) – it already exists.
2. True to their name, the bars “pick up” your mood instantly
I’ve never been sad after popping a blue and yellow package. Pick Up bars are perfect amount of sweet and crunchy. I can eat one without the taste or satisfaction tapering off after a few bites. Pick Up bars are a fantastic reward system as well. Finished a tedious essay? Convinced yourself to run a mile in summer heat? Gobble down that Pick Up bar with pride.
3. Portion control is all the rage, and these bars are the perfect size
Don’t kid yourself. This is “healthy” eating. Small enough to fit in pocket, frocket, or sock, Pick Up bars satisfy the craving without flirting with gluttony. There’s les than 10 grams of sugar and 143 calories per bar, not to mention the decent amount of protein (1.8 grams).
4. “Imported” chocolate sounds fancy and will be adored by hipster consumers
The packaging design goes well with fishnets and a scarf from a Bohemian flea market. If a good is imported, people are attracted to the exotic, “I can’t get it from here” aura, increasing its buying power. For example, Nutella became a worldwide phenomenon because of its stellar taste and European appeal, and Pick Up bars could capture the US next.
5. Pick Up bars come in a variety of flavors, catering to different tastes
Traditional chocolate, milk chocolate, and white cream inside a chocolate cookie – it’s taste-bud-euphoria as well as diversified. Although the regular variety is my favorite, the other flavors are equally exciting and mood-boosting. Pick Up bars could also expand their flavors to adapt to the U.S. market, adding types such as peanut butter, coffee, and mint.
6. The bars will be cheaper if sold domestically, attracting more customers
Five bars for $2 will be a deal no savvy shopper can ignore. Pick Up bars are a success in Europe because of their cheap price and high-quality taste. Spending $19 on Amazon for a 5 pack is insane, so until the bars are produced in the US (or imported cheaply), Americans will not purchase them. Lower the price, demand rises, and the laws of Adam Smith run wild in the market.
7. These bars aren’t just dessert – they’ve got breakfast, lunch, and snack potential
They’re not bounded by a “label” and compliment any meal, not just German cooking. Delicious with pancakes, PB&J, or pot roast with simmering gravy, Pick Up bars aren’t exclusive to one meal. I prefer them as snacks since Quaker chewy bars and Nutrigrain bars are getting dull…the only problem is the chocolate melting before I can eat it!
8. There are no artificial preservatives or food coloring
Feel confident about feeding your body a wholesome, natural sweet that won’t cause complications down the road. The consumer can taste the purity of the ingredients, the main ones including wheat, milk, butter, hazelnut, egg, and whey. It’s also perfect for vegetarians, with no sketchy foods tainting its refreshing zing.
9. Pick Up bars don’t have extra packaging or wrapping, saving costs and the environment
It’s not like Lays chips, where half of the bag is crinkly air. The bar in your hand is the bar that’ll be in your stomach after a few bites. Even the five/six pack is resourceful – only a slim (but sturdy) sticker connects the bars, no clunky box or bag filling up space. Bahlsen, the parent company of Leibniz, also supports sustainable cocoa farming with its suppliers.
10. The brand is already in English, so no translation necessary
Avoid the costs of translation, new marketing campaigns, and hiring new label designers. Transferring between countries wouldn’t be difficult, at least from a packaging perspective; the name is short and catchy, like Nutter Butters or Nilla Wafers. Also, Leibniz wouldn’t be at risk for a Colgate naming scandal.
11. Last but not least, they are freaking delightful!
The American public would be mad to ignore this German staple… and I would be crushed if I couldn’t savor these chocolate nuggets again. I’m comfortably fed, smugly European, and unnaturally happy whenever I think of Pick Up bars. They are memories, they are taste, and they are the future of the US sweets market.
Help: I’ve fallen in love with this Deutschland divinity, and my mouth can’t stop watering. Buying these blue+yellow necessities is one of my main motives in returning to Germany. Move aside Milanos, no kitschy chocolate can compare in the United States.