It’s mid-afternoon and you’re sitting in your last class planning your relaxing night in; cooking a delicious homecooked meal, catching up on massive amounts of homework and doing that load of laundry that should have been done about a week ago. Sounds like a productive evening UNTIL your phone lights up with a text from your bestie reminding you that you made plans to grab drinks at the new spot near campus and gossip about last weeks reality TV. The idea of trying to cancel plans last minute puts you in the hot seat and you’re automatically faced with a tough game of “what shi**y excuse can I come up within 10 seconds or less?”
We’ve all been there, some of us have made some horrible excuses to get some extra “me time” or binge a stellar new Netflix show. Maintaining a social life with a hefty Netflix schedule is tough, so what do you do when you don’t feel like saying you have to go to dinner with your grandma for the 3rd time this week?
How to Bail Gracefully
There’s no bulletproof way to gracefully cancel plans — BUT, if something does come up last minute with a family member, or you had some bad Mexican food for lunch, it’s totally acceptable to bail on an event within the hour. Sure, life happens and you truly have to roll with the punches. Your girl might be upset for a hot minute, but in this case, there’s always next week.
How to Be More Honest
I’ll be the first to say I make all these gnarly plans earlier in the week, and by Wednesday, I’m staring at my agenda in pure agony… just waiting for a text from SOMEONE wanting to cancel SOMETHING. Overloading your social agenda is truly the definition of biting off more than you can chew.
So, with that said, let’s get one thing clear: there’s a major difference between bailing on an event here and there and bailing on the same person continuously. Your roomie will understand if you’re not feeling GNO after spin class, but that Tinder boy that’s been trying to get you to go out for weeks? You can kiss him goodbye. If you’re caught bailing on the same person over and over, you should really just cut things off all together, no one likes a total flake.
If You’re Always ‘That Person,’ Try This
Stop saying yes to every event: FOMO is a real thing, but it’s also super important to have some time for yourself and take a step away from the social scene. It’s ok to say no — realize that turning down super fun plans is better than committing to them and fretting about coming up with a lame excuse later.
Instead of going along with someone else’s plans 24/7, how about you start calling the shots? If you make the plans and want people to show up, there’s no way you can back out last minute. But, don’t be surprised if people flake on your events — you may have given off an unreliable vibe in the past but make it clear to your friends that you’ve been overwhelmed lately and apologize for always skipping out—or make the effort to host a girls night at your place (wine included).
So, What’s The Final Verdict?
If you truly can’t avoid being that person that always cancel plans, but have a totally legitimate reason (catching up on sleep is 100% legitimate), just learn how to give a timely notice. In my opinion, several hours is appropriate — never let your homegirl be halfway through her full face contour when you text her that you’re not feeling going out anymore.
However, if you’re the flake that’s full of professional excuses and don’t plan on changing your ways anytime soon, these are probably way too relatable.
So go ahead and sneak in that extra nap or meditation break and start binge watching that new Netflix series — but don’t use the “headache” excuse too much, you’ll need to save that one for the week after midterms.