Winter has come. The eighth and final season of Game of Thrones is finally here. Along with its anticipated launch comes a new variety of GoT Oreo cookies. GoT Oreos come in the same original flavor, but meaningful symbols from the show, such as family sigils, make the cookies extra special. In honor of these two monumental achievements, I’ve created a master list of the Game of Thrones characters as ideal Oreo Flavors.
#SpoonTip: Next time you watch GoT, eat the corresponding Oreo flavor every time that character appears on the screen. Just kidding. You might actually die. Just like the GoT characters are about to…
Warning: Spoiler Alerts Below
Jon Snow – Double Stuf
A universally beloved classic. Not only is he not a “bastard,” but also he has Stark and Targaryen heritage, which makes him twice as powerful as the average cookie. Obviously one of the major players in the game.
Daenarys Targaryen – Golden Double Stuf
The perfect counterpart to the chocolate cookie Double Stuf Oreo with a similar heritage (yikes!). This golden cookie brings out the warm spirit that the Cookie in the North sometimes lacks.
Sansa Stark – Red Velvet
At first glance, you would think this cookie is stuck up and overly decadent. Despite these initial judgments, the cream cheese frosting sandwiched between crimson cookies has become a beautiful and sophisticated crowd favorite, as has the Lady of Winterfell.
Brandon Stark/Three-Eyed Raven – Mystery
As the name suggests, no one can figure out the cookie’s flavor or Bran’s mystifying motivations. The Internet went crazy trying to figure out their essence but also making hilarious memes about the cookies and the phrase “I’m not Bran, I’m the Three-Eyed Raven”. The Mystery cookie is simply a Fruit Loops Flavored Oreo, a childhood favorite. In the same mysterious spirit, adolescent Bran happens to be the only person on the planet who knows how the show will end.
Arya Stark – PB&J
This Oreo initially seems to have too much energy. Chocolate AND peanut butter AND jelly? But both Arya and the PB&J Oreo have proven to be powerful elements in their respective series, able to masquerade as anything – nutty, fruity, chocolatey, you name it.
Tyrion Lannister – Carrot Cake
Tyrion was by far the hardest cookie for me to crumble, but I think that the Carrot Cake Oreo fits his character. At first, you think you’re gonna hate it, but over time you really develop an appreciation for this complex dessert with the unexpected addition of vegetables (vegetables in a dessert, Lannisters on the good side). Also, neither this dessert nor this character ever seems to die. But maybe that will soon change…
Cersei Lannister – Lemon
Tart and tangy, no one is really sure why this cookie is so powerful. But for some reason, it has amassed a loyal army and threatens some of our all-time favorites.
Varys – Inside-Out
I can’t figure out this character or Oreo for the life of me. But I am sure that both are super weird, yet necessary in their respective lineups.
The Night King – Mint
The Mint Oreo is by far one of the most well-known, delicious, and flavorful cookies in the Oreo series, and the Night King is just as powerful in his respective population of characters. Also, the cool aftertaste the Mint Oreo leaves is unmistakably characteristic of the icy touch of death.
Tormund – Hot & Spicy Cinnamon
By far the most obvious match.
Brienne of Tarth – Cinnamon Bun
I needed a big flavor to match what Tormund calls “the big woman”, and the Cinnamon Bun Oreo does the trick. This flavor is heartwarming, loyal, and caring, just as Ser Brienne of Tarth is to those who have been good to her like Catelyn and Jaime.
Podrick – Cookie Butter
Not a widespread flavor, but a perfect companion to Cinnamon Bun (try it!) and a reliable and well-received flavor. Also good with the ladies.
Jaime Lannister – Love Oreo
The things we do for love. Sweet, romantic, but a little tangy, Jaime Lannister embodies sacrificing everything for love – honor, family, popularity – until his love betrays him. Big mistake, Lemon Oreo.
Ned Stark – OG
Honorable. Dignified. Classic. Superseded by less authentic Oreos, but we miss him every episode.
Khal Drogo – Root Beer Float
This is just chaotic. And perfect.
Theon Greyjoy/Reek – Banana Split
Split personality alert! Sometimes you want banana in your ice cream, but artificial banana flavoring makes you want to hurl. Similarly, half the time you love Theon’s loyalty, and half the time you wish Reek would crawl back into the kennel and stop messing up the entire plot line.
Joeffrey Lannister – Limeaid
Childish, sour, and gross. Good riddance.
The High Septon – Sugar Free
With the whole “holier than thou” mindset, of course the High Septon would be the one Oreo that tries to be healthy. Thank the gods he died too.
Peter Baelish – Creamsicle
He tried too hard to cater to every side at once – fruity, vanilla-y, icy, creamy, Lannister, Stark, Targaryen, North, South, East, West. He was simultaneously every flavor, but no one liked having him around. Sickly sweet and deceptive. Glad he’s gone.
Margaery Tyrell – Marshmallow Crispy
Rice Crispy Treats and Margaery Tyrell both give off motherly vibes. Warm, comforting, familiar, and sweet. But, like the cereal bits embedded in the creme of the cookie, Margaery surprises you at every turn.
Olenna Tyrell – Dunkin’ Donuts Mocha
This cookie complicates the show too much. The Mocha Oreo doesn’t feel like an Oreo – the coffee chocolate combo feels much more sophisticated and intellectual than any other Oreo. The way Olenna Tyrell carried herself throughout the show – even during her death – proves that she could outsmart anyone in the series.
Sandor Clegane/The Hound – Dark Chocolate
More bitter than we could have anticipated.
Qyburn – Candy Corn
I kind of just wanted an excuse to match a Halloween themed Oreo, because Qyburn is creepy as hell.
Oberyn Martell – Pina Colada
He’s sweet, smooth, comes from a tropical place, and acts like everyone loves him. But at the end of the day, both he and this drink end up a pile of melty mush. What? Too soon?
Ellaria Sand – Key Lime Pie
Also tropical, but has a controversial and biting tang to her personality. While she’s still a bit tyrannical, Ellaria is infinitely more tolerable than Limeaid.
Catelyn Stark – Blueberry Pie
While Blueberry Pie has fruity and sassy elements, it ultimately reminds us of mothers and home. And Catelyn does everything for those who she loves and who love her: her children.
Samwell Tarly – Hot Chocolate
Always there to comfort Jon after a particularly challenging day as Warden of the North, Samwell’s warmhearted personality shines and is clearly capable of burning the occasional Night King when necessary.
Gilly – S’mores
Gilly is well-liked, comforting, and inherently good. Even if she can seem a bit childish and simplistic at times, there is a complexity to her character that Sam empathizes with as a product of their similar upbringings. Her goodness despite all that makes him fall for her every time.
Jorah Mormont – Rocky Road Trip
This flavor says a lot about Jorah – his upbringing as the son of the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, his journey as Daenarys Targaryen’s most loyal advisor and spy to the Lannister regime, and his skin condition. Nonetheless, he’s a pretty good dude.
Greyworm – Peanut Butter
Like the Peanut Butter Oreo, Greyworm is an infinitely reliable and smooth cookie. No one has anything bad to say about him.
Missandei – Coconut
She’s tropical, bright, and more complex than other cookies. Overall a solid number.
Melisandre – Cherry Cola
This flavor keeps trying so hard to wedge itself into people’s lives, but at this point, its era has clearly passed. This weirdly spicy and archaically old lady needs to go home.
Ygritte – Peppermint
This wintry cookie makes you feel cold and warm all at once. She came from a frigid place and a cold people, but she was the one who taught Jon Snow to love.
Yara Greyjoy – Firework
She’s fiery, patriotic, loyal, and kind of a seasonal character. But when Yara’s around, she always puts up one hell of a fight.
Yuron Greyjoy – Swedish Fish
Everything about this is disgusting.
Ramsay Snow – Fruit Punch
Absolutely revolting.
Stannis Baratheon – Pumpkin Spice
Honestly, this cookie and this character are so basic. He had all the right ingredients to take power and he still ruined it. Pumpkin Spice is overplayed. Stannis Baratheon overplayed himself too. Now he’s dead.
Shireen Baratheon – Cotton Candy
So sweet. So pure. Half of her face looked different from the other half like the blue and pink creme halves of this cookie. She was just a girl, a child dreaming of family, carnivals, and fun times.
Davos Seaworth – Jelly Donut
A hearty and jolly guy who has a soft spot for the sweeter ones in life.
Hodor – Birthday Cake
Just a tad simple and too sweet for his own good. Despite not being a fan favorite or major player, everyone knows who Hodor is.
Gods bless you, Hodor. Old gods, new gods, fire gods, water gods, and death gods alike.