For a school whose gym is sponsored by Coors, it only makes sense to liken every building on our campus to a food, because #health. This is (almost) every building at the University of Denver if it were a food.
Sturm: Turducken
It’s a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken with stuffing between each layer. It’s a little overwhelming and you probably don’t know where to start. However, you’ll probably end up eating some component of it at some point. (Yes, even if you’re vegan, because vegan stuffing is a thing and it’s fantastic.)
Joy Burns Center: Caviar
There’s a reason that everyone goes into the hospitality school to use the bathroom (we see you). It’s because everything about this building screams elegance, from the marble floors to the descending staircase into the ballroom. It’s FANCY, and caviar is probably the fanciest food out there.
Anderson Academic Commons: Flatbread Sandwich
If there’s two things everyone at DU knows to be true, it’s that 1) The man who works at the library cafe is the kindest human being on earth, and 2) The ONLY thing to eat at the library is the flatbread sandwich. It’s the best use of meal plan cash on campus. And if you’re an upperclassman with no Flex left, try these recipes to make a flatbread for yourself.
Mary Reed/Margery Reed: Macaron/Macaroon
Macarons and macaroons are TOTALLY different things, and Mary and Margery Reed are separate buildings. It may be good to learn the difference, as Mary Reed is haunted, and the process of trying to make macarons is pretty scary. On the other hand, macaroons are super simple to make, and Margery Reed is home to one of the most beautiful works of art on campus.
Daniels College of Business: Einstein’s Bagels
I’ll be honest, this was probably too easy of an answer, but as a science major, I’ve never been in Daniels for any reason other than bagels, and it’s the only thing that I associate with the building. Sorry not sorry, it’s delicious.
Olin Hall: Frog Legs
Maybe this is unnecessarily macabre, but nothing says “freshman biology lab” like a frog dissection, and yes, frog legs really do taste like chicken.
Newman Center for Performing Arts: Edible Flowers
It’s impossible to walk by the Newman Center and not notice the beauty in the architecture, especially the rose window, which symbolizes the roses gifted after performances. Roses and other flowers are edible, and putting them in a dish will definitely raise its level of sophistication. To raise the level of sophistication in your life, you can learn an instrument in their 2-credit music lessons for non-majors, including the carillon.
Ritchie Center- Nachos
Seeing as the Ritchie Center is home to the gym, I could have gone for a healthier option here, but there is nothing more perfect than the union of nachos and sporting events. I can’t think of a better way to cheer on our national champion hockey team than by noshing on some chips and cheese.
Boettcher West: Brownies
Boettcher West is the home to the Geography and the Environment department, and I can’t think of any better way to learn about divergent plate boundaries than to look at the cracks forming in sweet, sweet brownies. Even better, brownies that you can make with only two ingredients.
Driscoll: Pizza
Just as Driscoll connects campus north of Evans and south of Evans, pizza is the perfect way to bring people together. As it functions as the Student Center, Driscoll always has its fair share of free pizza at one of the many club meetings.
Korbel: Fusion Tacos
The Josef Korbel School of International Studies brings together students from all over the world, and fusion tacos bring together ingredients like pad thai, kimchi, and guacamole to create something entirely new (and entirely delicious). Honorable mentions to other fantastic Asian fusion creations like the sushirito and ramen burger.
Engineering and Computer Science: Lab Created Cheese
Now before you roll your eyes and go “ewwww”, hear me out. Lab-created food is not far off in the distance and it could solve many of the sustainability issues created from raising livestock. I think creating a believable Camembert in a lab would be the greatest engineering feat of my lifetime (sorry, driverless cars
Well folks, that’s each building at the University of Denver as a food. I know that I neglected a couple of buildings on campus, but I got so hungry writing this list that I had to stop somewhere. For those buildings that might not even exist, (looking at you, Ammi Hyde and Media, Film and Journalism Studies), may I suggest something very rare like Kobe Beef? Or maybe truffles? And finally, for the dorms, some combination of Rice Krispie treats and omelettes would accurately describe my freshman year diet.