Over the weekend, a good friend of mine asked me if what she was wearing made her look “slutty.” She didn’t ask me if she looked “pretty,” “attractive,” or “cute”, but rather “slutty”. Naturally, I said, “No, of course not.” As a guy, this raised a question: what is with the stigma?
After all, she could have phrased her comment as “does this reveal too much?” or “does this look appropriate?” But no, girls everywhere are so conditioned and concerned about gaining the reputation of “slut,” that they change the shirt they really like, hold back from getting with the guy they really want to get with, and are nervous of what others may think for simply embracing their sexuality.
My Confusion
As a male, this utterly confuses me. Personally, I do not believe wearing a low-cut shirt changes your character, personality, or values in anyway. But for some reason, in our society, people correlate “slut” with low values and low self-respect for oneself.
The Perpetuators
It starts with the boys who hear a girl is “easy” and automatically prey on her as if she was a piece of meat. But it transcends even further with girls. I’m gonna say it — girls can be mean. It’s often times I hear girls slut shaming other girls saying, “Did you see what she wore last night?” or even, ” I can’t believe she hooked up with him!”
Ladies, why are you putting each other down? You’re all on the same team. Instead of the constant slut-shaming, why don’t you all just come together and support one another?
So, What If Someone Is One?
Whenever I’m around my friends that are girls, it saddens me to hear them self-consciously belittle one another. Girls: especially in today’s world, you all need each other. Don’t feel pressured by the media, society, or even your friends to not be someone you aren’t. Everyone deserves to be their best self, and if that means wearing what you want to wear and talking who you want to talk to, so be it!
That night, my friend and I went to a party and she was wearing the shirt she was afraid made her look “slutty.” While in the beginning she felt a little self-conscious, by the end of the night she didn’t give a sh*t about what anyone thought of her and had a blast. It takes a lot of guts, which everyone has. This is how we end slut shaming.