There has been a lot of buzz and debate around politics recently due to the Presidential election. Personally, I'm someone who strongly dislikes Donald Trump. I don’t agree with many of his views or newly enacted policies as the President of the United States. As such, I do what I can to not give my support to him or anyone who backs him. Included in that group of people is his wife, Melania Trump.
That being said, while it’s okay to disagree with someone, ad hominem attacks are not okay. Specifically slut shaming, which is an issue I have seen time and time again in regards to Melania. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, slut shaming is “the action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative.” It's also definitely not the way to deal with dislike towards Melania or any other woman.
So, what is the issue with slut shaming?
Well first off, slut shaming stems from sexism, which isn't a great start. Boys become men when they embrace their sexuality, but girls become sluts when they embrace their sexuality. Because of this double standard, women's bodies and sexuality are often leveraged against them to discredit or dismiss them. And it's perpetrated by both men and women, so don't think anyone is off the hook.
Slut shaming is most often used to assert power over someone or continue oppressing them. For example, a woman might call another woman a slut, whore, etc., in order to assert herself as somehow better than that woman since she's less promiscuous. Or a man might call a woman a slut in order to have an excuse to not give her any respect. This is harmful to everyone involved, as it sets up an impossible standard and gives power to slurs that really only mean a woman has taken full control over her own body.
In the case of Mrs. Trump, many are using her modeling past to claim she is unfit to be the First Lady. Some claim the fact that she has in the past posed nude should be enough to disqualify her from her current position. She has been falsely called an ex-hooker and disgraceful or classless, though there is no proof to back up those claims.
People attack her for all of these things and more, while ignoring the fact that she was a successful model even before she met her husband, can speak four languages, and has her own jewelry line. Melania is by no means my favorite person, but if we're going to criticize her, we should criticize things that are actually valid arguments against her instead of throwing sexist remarks at her.
Things to criticize that are not related to Melania Trumps’s body or sexuality:
1. The Plagiarism Debacle
I think almost everyone heard about this. And plagiarism is no bueno- that's something that gets you in big trouble. Like, would get me kicked out of college if I attempted it trouble. Apparently nobody told Melania any of this, because at the Republican National Convention, her speech was remarkably similar to Michelle Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2008.
Melania had not been particularly vocal throughout her husband's presidential campaign, so the RNC was a great chance for her to make an impression upon people, especially women. However, she blatantly copied the words of another, which isn't at all ethical, but also took the focus totally away from anything she said that was original material. In other words, a little bit of a shot to her own foot, plus it planted the seed that if she lied about her speech, she may be open to lie about other things. So much for that good impression...
2. Her Cyberbullying Campaign
Many First Ladies of the United States have spearheaded an issue while they were in office. Melania had claimed that the thing she wanted to tackle was cyberbullying. This almost immediately had a large amount of backlash, as Donald Trump is literally known for insulting people and places on Twitter- the New York Times keeps a running list and as I write this, President Trump is at 305 tweets attacking things.
Of course, Donald and Melania Trump are different people and she is not totally responsible for his actions. At the same time, it is hypocritical of her to expect anybody to listen to her campaign to be more respectful of people online when The President is supposed to set an example for the country, but all she has to say of her husband is "he will do what he wants to do on the end". Everyone else will do what they want in the end too, if she doesn't do anything other than maybe say, 'hey stop that!' And it seems clear that she either can't or won't do more.
3. Her Inability to Successfully Present and Follow Through With Her Ideas
Melania Trump has said in the past that if she became First Lady, she would want to be like Betty Ford. Betty Ford did an incredible amount with the power given to her, both in social policy and in simply being more politically active than First Ladies in the past. And those amazing things came from individual passions, not just things their husband told them to do. I’m sure Melania has opinions of her own, but we have yet to see her do anything with them.
For example on November 3rd, 2016, Melania gave her first speech since the GOP convention. She seems to express her own ideas, but had not at that point and still has not to date done anything to back them up. She states that she will be an advocate for women, but Donald Trump has already reinstated policies that will restrict access to healthcare for people worldwide, particularly for women. She claims that she values individual freedom, but this is something Donald Trump and his Vice President Mike Pence do not seem to endorse, as Pence supports conversion therapy (among other things), which tries to forcibly take away parts of an individual’s identity. She speaks rarely, and when she does, there is a clear conflict between her words and actions. In short, we have yet to see her display an ability to accomplish even a fraction of what others in her position have.
So yes, please, feel free to call people out when they make mistakes. Especially when they are people who are supposed to be representative of you, like the POTUS or FLOTUS. But, make sure you leave their sexuality out of it. Women, along with so many others, are already going to have a tough four years. Let’s not make it worse for ourselves by promoting sexist ways of thinking and tearing one another down over the insignificant stuff, like whether or not a woman is confident about her own body.