So you strut into your neighborhood bar after quitting time on Thursday and holler at the barkeep to get you a Vodka Red Bull. On second thought, make it a double. Wait, why is everyone looking at you like you’re insane? Well, Dorothy, you aren’t in
Kansas college anymore. Here’s how to get your drink on, with the stars to guide you, when you’re trying to be a sophisticated adult.
1. Aries: Whiskey Sour
You’re adventurous and confident, so whiskey is the obvious choice. Skip the pre-made sour behind the bar and go for the kicked up version of a Whiskey Sour: whiskey, lime juice and egg whites for rich texture and a beautiful foam on top. Voila, you get the badassness of drinking whiskey without having to drink it neat.
2. Taurus: Sauvignon Blanc
You, Taurus, are warm-hearted and reliable. You need a drink to reflect that. Sauv Blanc is a fruity white, but not aggressively sweet. It’s good for the security-loving, but more adult than dessert wines. Please, for the rest of your adult life, say no to Moscato (unless you’re with Waka).
3. Gemini: French 75
Youthful and lively, bubbly isn’t just for brunch anymore and it’s perfect for you, sophisticated Gemini. Plus you get more bang for your post-grad buck with the addition of a little gin to your cocktail. Lemon juice and simple syrup bring it all together.
4. Cancer: Paloma
Save the margaritas for Spring Break, Cancer. Even though you’re protective, you also have an imaginative spirit that helps you think outside the box. Order a Paloma (tequila and grapefruit soda) to get your tequila fix without being basic or resorting to shots.
5. Leo: Dark ‘n’ Stormy
Leos are creative and generous, so share your knowledge of this less popular (but much cooler) ginger beer cocktail made with dark rum and bitters. As we all know, drinking anything with bitters makes you sophisticated AF.
6. Virgo: Malbec
Modest and shy, Virgos are more likely to be found in a dark, sexy hotel bar than the club. A Malbec is the perfect red to set the mood. It’s bolder than you are, and your practical side will love the health benefits.
7. Libra: Mojito
Libra, you are idealistic and charming. If anyone can convince a harried bartender to whip them up a mojito, it’s you. Your sociable side will love bragging about your drink to fellow bar-goers. And if you really wanna show how grown up you are, throw a cocktail party and make these and blow your friends away.
8. Scorpio: Old Fashioned
Powerful and determined, you need a liquor that can stand on its own, just like you, Scorpio. The combination of sugar, bitters and orange garnish mirror your exciting side. There’s a reason why people still drink the oldest cocktail in the books. Not at the bar yet? You can still whip one up in under a minute.
9. Sagittarius: Prosecco
You’re bubbly and freedom-loving, so why not order a nice glass of prosecco? It’s fruity and sweet on its own, so you don’t have to worry about mixing it with anything, and the bubbles are much less sharp than those in champagne. But if you don’t want to drink it straight, create a classic NYC mash-up at home and throw a popsicle in it. It’s Insta-ready!
10. Capricorn: Martini
Practical and disciplined, the martini was basically made for you, Capricorn. Enjoy it with vodka, gin, with a twist or dirty. For something a little sweeter, try this recipe at home. I’d say more on the subject, but you’ll probably get mad at me for being verbose.
12. Aquarius: Irish Coffee
Friendly and loyal, Aquarius needs a warm, caffeinated drink that is also original. You are also inventive and unpredictable, so even in your chilly birthday month ordering a large coffee with cream, sugar and Jameson will keep people guessing. Prep for the long winter by pairing with some maple bacon pancake cookies.
13. Pisces: Gimlet
A true Pisces is imaginative and selfless, so exemplify that with a sophisticated two-ingredient cocktail. A gimlet is three parts gin to one part lime, and is just as tasty as it is easy to make. Peep this and other sophisticated, Mad Men-esque recipes here.
#SpoonTip: If you stand up tall and order your preferred drink with enough confidence, any drink is an “adult drink.”