The year is 2017 — Donald Trump is our 45th president, the Ringling Bros. are going out of business, and Brangelina is still broken up. In short, the USA is kind of a sh*t show. But a genius has found a way to turn our epic fails into victories with the creation of FailChips.
You see, when the potato chip was invented in Saratoga Springs, NY, no one realized its true potential. According to the legend, a chef by the name of George Crumb was famous for his fried potatoes. However, one customer complained and said his potatoes were “too mushy” and returned them to the kitchen. George Crumb wasn’t used to people not loving on his potatoes, so he sliced ‘em, boiled ‘em, and then salted ‘em (*insert Salt Bae meme*) to perfection — thus creating what we know now as the potato chip.
But in the end, Crumb truly missed the mark on how good a potato chip could really be. I mean, the man’s name was George Crumb — how do you not realize potatoes are best consumed in crumb form? All he had to do was take it one step further and crush them, but hey, not everyone is meant to cross the finish line in life.
Vice is here to save the day by introducing you to FailChips. You no longer have to settle for whole potato chips that are too freaking wide to fit in any one person’s mouth, and you no longer have to guard your bag of beloved chips like a newborn child all the way home from the grocery store. Because guess what — they’re already pulverized, and it’s awesome.
So next time you find yourself reaching for the ridges, take a right turn into the Winner’s Lane and get yourself a bag of FailChips. You can thank us later.
This post is sponsored by FailChips.