NYC’s September Fashion week is a time when hundreds of gorgeous men and women flaunt the hottest new looks from the world’s top designers. And I decided to celebrate the only way I know how, by eating. Specifically, I decided to eat like those stick-thin runway models who dominate the catwalk.
Research on Google led me to one diet in particular, one that numerous runway models—including Carolyn Murphy and a few VS Angels—swear by: the Alkaline Diet.
The diet is based on the theory that certain foods produce more acid than others and since acid can be bad for you, those foods should be avoided.
Sugar, dairy and most grains and meats are big no-nos. The best foods for the diet are broccoli, leafy greens, and fruits that are low in sugar. As a girl who loves buffalo wings and Ben and Jerry’s more than almost anything in the world, I knew this was going to be tough.
My roommate and I headed to Wegman’s anyway, and proceeded to fill my cart with some of the healthiest foods I’ve ever purchased. I hadn’t even started the diet yet, but I was already feeling pretty damn proud of myself.
And so, on Sunday night, I said a tearful goodbye to all my dark chocolate covered Trader Joe’s snacks and went to bed feeling pretty anxious about what was sure to be the healthiest week of my young life.
Would eliminating bread or pasta be difficult? Definitely. Would I go through sugar withdrawals? Maybe. Would I come out of this looking like a runway model? Only time would tell.
Day 1
I woke up that day feeling ready. The first thing on my to-do list was a meeting at 10:30 am which meant I had plenty of time to craft the perfect breakfast smoothie. While researching the Alkaline Diet I found a variety of smoothie recipes that included avocado, broccoli, and leafy greens, which I built on by adding banana and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.
The result was one of the grossest smoothies I have ever tasted. Broccoli has a powerful flavor that no amount of banana or almond milk can erase. Please learn from my mistake: never put broccoli into a smoothie. I got through about 3/4 of the drink before calling it quits.
An hour later my stomach was already grumbling. I decided to have an early lunch at 11:45 at a cafe on campus. I ate my kale Caesar salad faster than ever before. I sadly set the pita aside, but one of the rules of the Alkaline diet is that 20% of your daily food can fall outside the limitations of the diet, so I let the croutons and Parmesan cheese slide.
By the time I got out of class at 4 pm I was positively hangry. I was signed up for a 4:30 spin class, but I had to skip it in order to run home to shovel a bland handful of almonds in my mouth. (Not that I was disappointed to have an excuse to skip hitting the gym…)
My dinner made up for my sad breakfast and mediocre lunch. I cooked a huge batch of quinoa to use in meals later this week and topped some of it with slices of sweet potato, broccoli and avocado all cooked in olive oil and chili powder.
I went to sleep feeling good about how the day went, but dreaming of chocolate.
Day 2
That morning I woke up needing Cheetos. My body was really missing all the artificial flavors that I normally fill it with.
I learned from the day before’s mistake and made a much tastier smoothie by blending peanut butter, banana and strawberries together. I was nervous because I had a class from 9:30 am to 12:20 pm, but the smoothie kept me surprisingly full.
Everything started to go downhill at lunchtime. I had a sad, sad salad that I grabbed in the 10 minutes I had between class and work. After finishing my salad all I could think about was a fresh bagel.
I had never wanted bread so badly in my life. For the rest of the day all I could think about was garlic knots and croissants and pizza. Living without bread and cheese was waaaay harder than I thought I’d be.
And the day didn’t get much better. I had another quinoa bowl for dinner but this time I roasted some cauliflower and asparagus to put on top. I normally have rice or pasta or bread with pretty much every meal, so quinoa was not doing much to cease my craving.
I went to bed fantasizing about heading down to the bakery near my school and buying all the bread they had.
Day 3
I woke up that day with a horrible headache and a pretty bad stomach ache. After some quick Googling I learned that my headache was due to carb withdrawal (specifically sugar withdrawal) and my stomach ache was due to my eating so much fiber.
Needless to say, I wasn’t pleased. I thought eating this healthy would make me feel energized and alive, not sluggish and in pain. I forced an avocado and banana smoothie down and headed to work.
After running to the bathroom twice in the span of my two hour work shift, I officially decided that this diet was #notworthit.
Hey, I made it for a full two days, that’s pretty good right?
Conclusions
The runway models who successfully do this diet aren’t just supermodels, they are superhuman. The Alkaline Diet is a HUGE change for someone who is used to eating meat, sugar, dairy and carbs very regularly. If you want to try this diet, I would suggest doing it much more gradually than I did. My body clearly was shocked by the sudden change.
For me, I don’t think drastically changing the way I eat is worth it. I try to maintain a balanced diet, but I do of course splurge now and then. I don’t think anyone should feel the need to go to such extremes to be “healthy.” During my two Alkaline Diet days I was constantly thinking about what I was eating which isn’t a healthy mindset to have. I also felt lethargic and lacked a lot of my usual energy and focus.
Planning out what I’m going to cook or eat every day is such a source of joy in my life. I found that during the two-ish days I was on this diet, I actually felt a lot less happy. I wasn’t looking forward to my meals at all which was a real bummer.
That said, I did learn some dope smoothie recipes that I will definitely use in the future.