Getting hammered in the morning is underrated: You aren’t yet bloated from pregame pizza, you have the whole day to recover, and you’ve got time to rethink the “you wanna come over” text message (because almost no one is looking to get freaky at 10 am).
But when there’s still dew on the grass and sleep in the eyes, it’s only proper for your morning pregame to include breakfast food. I’m talking heaps of eggs and potatoes, greasy pots of bacon, and a tower of Irish Whiskey for your coffee instead of Natty Light.
Although college football season is over, there’s no reason morning pregames for basketball, gymnastics, hockey, or whatever your reason for celebrating, have to stop. Here are the eight best ways to take eggs to a Kegs and Eggs pregame, so even when you’re half asleep, your eggs will still look *sublime.*
1. Tomato Baked Eggs
Want to be simultaneously lazy and bougie as hell? These tomato baked eggs are the answer to the morning pregame conundrum: Do I want to look alive or do I want to impress drunk people with my cooking skills? Cracked eggs in Roma tomatoes, a dash of salt and pepper, and you have an easily transportable feast.
2. Avocado Egg Salad
You say trendy, I say avocado. Avocado egg salad is tasty in plastic containers, your hands, a piece of aluminum foil – its versatility and flavor are endless, especially since avocado goes great with a latte in the morning, too. Add a teaspoon of garlic powder and your pregame is now a fiesta.
3. Bacon and Egg Breakfast Muffins
If you don’t want to get too “eggy” in the morning, bury the yolk inside layers of butter, bacon, and scallions. The heaviness of the flour and butter will soak up the alcohol, leaving you additional hours to get hammered. And while you’re at it, top off the muffins with a homemade rum pineapple maple syrup.
4. Fried Egg Tacos
This is technically cheating since you can get these "naked" egg tacos are from Taco Bell, but none of your schwasted comrades need to know that. The “naked” part refers to the fried egg shell holding potato, cheese, and sausage fixings inside. Easy to eat, and honestly, easy to make on your own, too.
5. Egg Brûlée
I’m too uncultured and un-French to know how to pronounce this, but it looks incredible. Moreover, it involves a kitchen torch, so sign me up. Egg brûlée is the breakfast version of crème brûlée with hardboiled eggs torched with a dusting of sugar. Deviled eggs is so last kegs and eggs pregame season.
6. Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Croissant Ring
This croissant ring smells of mornings at McDonald's with my dad and giggling at his dry humor between mouthfuls of foamy egg and fatty bacon. “Rich and heavy” is an understatement when it comes to this mammoth—it’s a breakfast for pregaming champions.
7. Microwavable Scrambled Eggs
Lazy? Already stumbling when you’re walking up to the pregame? This microwave recipe is for you. Show up with a dozen eggs, ask the host for a few mugs, and cook scrambled eggs in less than two minutes. You’ll look homey and trendy instead of like a lazybum with nothing together (@me).
8. Egg Popsicles
If you’re a late-night, infomercial fiend, this popsicle recipe will be your next obsession. The Rollie Egg Cooker transforms your eggs into a popsicle shape, making them convenient and delicious. Who needs an icy pop when you can have eggs, bacon bits, and veggies instead?
So when the Florida Gators have another noon football game in the fall (#pleasegetbetter) or spring break starts early, I know what I’ll be bringing to fraternity row. These eggs are something quick and clean, but unforgettably tasty (or forgettably, depending on the ABV).