Alas, finals week is here. Can we all agree that finals is a complete and utter joke? By the first week of May, Mayfest has already gotten us obliterated and checked out for the rest of this semester, the weather is actually deciding to be halfway decent, and studying while you’re already online shopping for your apartment next semester makes it nearly impossible. Why should we study when the weather is making people want to darty 24/7?
Anyways, this semester is over. If you try to go out on finals week, it will be a ghost town. Finals week completely leaves DPS with nothing to shut down. It is total blackout, except when it’s afters at Bird.
This week when you’re cramming your studying to the night before your final, GoPuff will have you covered with anything you might possibly need. GoPuff is just as supportive on finals week as it was on 4/20. They fully know how to take advantage of college students— and I’ll admit it, I love being taken advantage of when it comes to food.
What to choose, though? Salty, sweet, or just a box of Kleenex to help you wipe away your tears, your blood, your sweat or all of the above? Depending on what school you’re in, you deserve a certain cure to your stress.
1. Architecture
Deep breaths: you’re almost done! I’ve heard of the horror stories about final presentations in studio. Plus, I know there are those other classes that you’ve been slacking off all year, and now you have to learn all of the material in one night. Coffee is your friend when it comes to all-nighters. And for anyone who isn’t in architecture, it’s literally an all-nighter (not just a “go to sleep at 3am” kind of thing). Anyways, if this is your first, second, or third (how are you even alive?) all-nighter, you need caffeine. So, get creative with coffee ice cream. Also, wouldn’t help to get a travel toothbrush and toothpaste. You’re gonna be in studio for a while.
2. Arts and Sciences
Whether it’s that history class you never went to, or a writing class that you never read the assigned book in, it’s gonna be a night. Kudos to skipping class and procrastinating all semester. Arts and Sciences, you have so many majors to pick from, so your snack will be a bunch of treats mixed into one. Enjoy studying for English, Math, Sociology, Economics, and wherever else Arts and Sciences takes you.
3. School of Ed
Now that you’re studying about teaching kids, you might as well live like one. On your way to Bird, you might as well pack a freaking elementary school lunch. Hope these crackers will bring you back to your childhood while you’re studying for your EDU class.
4. Engineering
Still salty about the incident? #iykyk.
Ya, same here.
5. Falk
Your diets make me both envious and sad for you. How you manage to sustain a healthy diet in Syracuse’s god-awful weather blows my mind. Have fun nibbling leaves while you study for your Nutrition class.
6. iSchool
The iSchool is a school within Syracuse University that you won’t know until you get here. The iSchool is incredibly underrated and honestly one of the best here (which is why everyone ends up dueling). Just like Fritos Honey BBQ, you’ll never know how good they are until you take a bite. They look super funky when you take them off the shelf, but once you’ve opened the bag, you’re hooked. Have fun with coding.
7. Whitman
Whitman is one of the schools that we come here for. Like so many students, Whitman is also the one we end up moving out of once we realize how dreadful the workload really is. Finance, SOM, business analytics and then Capstone? Pass. Oreos are the snack we all would die for, but then once we’ve had 3 cookies, we get bored. By the time you’re in the 3rd sleeve of the box, you’ve become numb to the taste of the cookie itself—just like the curriculum of Whitman.
8. Maxwell
Maxwell, you’re great, don’t get me wrong. However, you seriously need to do some updating, redesign, refreshing, etc. Whether that’s by going on Queer Eye, or hiring some comm-design major to redo your website, reinvent yourself. As Jonathan Van-freaking-Ness says on Queer Eye, “Can you believe?” All it takes is faith and a box of saltines (because you’re bland af).
9. Newhouse
Newhouse, you truly outdo yourself. Hello finals week, you prestigious communication-ers. Educate yourself and order a ham/swiss combo while you study in your high-status attitude. Newhouse is the school that ‘Cuse is known for, but don’t let it get to your head.
10. VPA
You. Are. Dank. AF. Whether it be CommDesign, Drama, or Art, you are incredibly talented and incredibly underrated. VPA, you have won me over, and so has Half Baked. Dig in, and get creative.