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Lifestyle

8 Meals You Can (But Should Never) Make With Tide Pods

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at Fairfield chapter.

I’d like to open this article with the disclaimer that this is completely satirical and I fully discourage anyone from consuming Tide Pods; trust me, real food is significantly better. With that in mind, here are 8 totally ridiculous meals to make with Tide Pods. 

Smoothies

5 minute breakfast recipes smoothie sweet
Christin Urso

Pop those bad boys in the blender and make yourself a soapy smoothie. If you want to be super healthy use the green Tide Pods and give the green goddess smoothie an entirely new meaning. I can’t think of a more nutritious way to start the day!

Salad

tide pods salad vegetable
Sydney Toth

Speaking of healthy choices, Tide Pods make an excellent alternative to salad dressing. Ditch the balsamic and puncture some Tide Pods to drown your leafy greens in detergent. 

Tofu

Chicken dairy product cheese
Lauren Kaplan

Tide Pods are the new tofu. Are you tired of all those protein supplements? Well now is the time to mix it up! Whether you are adding Tide Pods to your salads, or putting them between two buns and eating them like a burger they are a much tastier alternative. 

Sushi

tide pods sushi seafood
William OuYang

Do you love sushi but hate the smell of fish? Well if you substitute that stinky fish for a Tide Pod then it’ll smell incredibly fresh! Just wrap a piece of seaweed around your Tide Pod and then roll it in rice. It’ll make a delicious afternoon snack.  

Acai Bowls

tide pods chocolate
Carolyn Chin

Acai bowls are super trendy, and eating Tide Pods is a huge trend right now too; so why not combine them? As you carefully place toppings on your bowl, be sure to leave space for some Tide Pod toppers. 

Burritos 

tide pods tacos burrito
Sofie Sobrero

I already love a healthy burrito, but we can always strive to make recipes even better. The addition of tide pods will complement the rich flavor and spices of the burrito perfectly. Since cilantro already leaves a soapy taste in my mouth, I don’t think Tide Pods will be any different. 

Soup

tide pods soup cream
Peaches Memishian

All you need for Tide Pod soup is a pot, a stove, and ten to fifteen tide pods. Consider adding in different spices as well to give the meal your own unique twist. First, puncture the Tide Pods and drain their gooey goodness into a pot. Next, let the concoction heat up on the stove until it is nice and steamy; after all, Tide Pod soup is a dish best served hot.      

Jell-O 

easy jello shot recipe berry sweet
Amanda Widom

No additional ingredients are required for this simple treat; just pop a Tide Pod in the freezer and let it sit until the liquid solution is solid. Next, remove the plastic exterior and you will have a jiggly treat. If you are of legal age, you can also use Tide Pods to make Jell-O shots. Your Tide Pod Jell-O shots will be all everyone is talking about at the party!

Please remember that Tide Pods are a form of laundry detergent, not food; they belong in the washing machine, not your mouth. I had a lot of fun writing this article but I do not condone making any of these recipes with Tide Pods. I hope this article made you laugh and maybe even inspired you to do laundry!

  

Zoë Smith

Fairfield '20