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Lifestyle

I Taste-Tested Buddy the Elf’s Favorite Breakfast and It Was Awful

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at Denison chapter.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it’s time to get in that Holiday cheer. That means hanging those lights, turning on that holiday jam, and switching on your favorite movie. For me, that means turning on “Elf” as soon as the Friday after Thanksgiving rolls around. 

Ah, Buddy the Elf. Known for his unmatched holiday cheer and fluorescent yellow tights, he is surely a figure to look up to this Holiday season. What better way to channel your inner Buddy The Elf than by eating as he does? Now we know, Buddy’s taste is unlike any other, so don’t worry, I’ll be the guinea pig for you all, and you can decide yourself whether your cut out for the Elf diet.

The Ingredients

Buddy The elf
Alex Frank

Candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup. The four main food groups every elf sticks to. I guess Buddy decided to let one other important food group in on this meal: carbs. Gather mini marshmallows, chocolate fudge Pop-Tarts, chocolate syrup, maple syrup, M&M’s, and spaghetti and you’re ready to rumble (or shall I say, jingle).

How To

Buddy The elf chocolate spaghetti
Alex Frank

Buddy The elf sweet chocolate
Alex Frank

The idea here is simple: plop that spaghetti down and smother it in those sugary toppings. You can go two routes, the fancy drizzle and sprinkle Olive Garden worthy-plating (I chose this, for the sake of pretty pictures) or, as Buddy does it, plop it on and mix by hand. 

Buddy The elf cake candy
Alex Frank

A true masterpiece… let’s see how it tastes.

The Taste Test 

Stage 1: Hopeful 

Buddy The elf spaghetti
Alex Frank

I went into this bite very hopeful. I have a HUGE sweet tooth and love pasta, so it couldn’t be that bad. 

Stage 2: Losing Hope

Buddy The elf
Alex Frank

Oh boy, I forgot, not a huge fan of chocolate syrup, and that taste is overpowering… just gotta pull through. Think like Buddy, channel your inner elf.

Stage 3: Hope is gone, Buddy WTF

Buddy The elf feast candy
Alex Frank

Ya, no. I don’t know how those elves do it. This s*** is awful. It basically tastes like what may end up in your trash can after a pasta dinner and sundae dessert. 

There you have it folks, I bit the bullet for you all. Now, maybe I’m biased due to my hate for chocolate syrup, but you have to be a sweet-lover to indulge in this treat. There’s no doubt that Buddy and all his elf friends up in the North Pole must make regular trips to the dentist with meals like this. Oh well, I still idol you, Buddy, but I’m going to opt for my spaghetti with marinara sauce next time. 

Lover of food (especially a good Açaí bowl), cold brews and creating.