Have you ever waited for that special someone to respond? Of course you have. If you’re anything like me, you’re bitter and angry at that not-so-special someone right now. But I am not here to talk about that and preach about how I shouldn’t be obsessive and blah blah blah. Instead I am gonna fill you on the eight foods you should be making while you wait for your special someone to text you back.
Mac and Cheese is easy to make, and you can find it in these instant bowls everywhere. But you know what you can’t find? Loyal people who text back. Honestly, it takes at most four minutes to make these little cups of heaven, and less than half that to text back. But who’s counting?
2. Toast (them)
Put some bread in the toaster. Let it sit. Hold down the lever. Wait. Hey, while you wait you know what you can do? Think of insults to make you feel better. That always works for me. This could be a reason why I haven’t gotten a text back because “I am mean” and “write articles about people who are busy.” Pfttt, whatever.
3. Grits (your teeth)
Grits are a real southern treat. Southern hospitality comes a long way, like texting back. If you’re like me, then you’ll prefer sugar in it. Some prefer nothing in these bad boys, others prefer salt. Recently I have been having salty grits.
4. Grilled Cheese Using ProvoALONE
At this point I have accepted defeat and am making some grilled cheese. It’s easy, and it’s a great way to kill time. I recommend using provoAlone cheese to taste how you feel on the inside.
5. Peanut Butter & Jealousy
Peanut butter and jelly is like a relationship: it takes two pieces of bread (or two people) to make it work. If the ratio of texting back—I mean, of jelly and peanut butter is not equal, then there is a problem. Watch out though because sometimes someone uses extra peanut butter because they are trying to make things work and the other side doesn’t have enough jelly. Yes, this was just a rant.
6. (They Got Me Scrambled) Eggs
Scrambled eggs are simple to make and can feature a lot of different things. Someone texting back is unfortunately not an option, but cheese, sour cream, and milk are all choices you got. If you’re feeling scrambled, then go ahead and crack some eggs while you envision the person who hasn’t texted you back. Hear the cries of the eggs as they cook, and then bury these thoughts so people don’t think you’re crazy.
7. (I’ve Seen Hotter) Hot Dogs
Hot dogs are kind of like that person that you envy who can pull off any outfit. You can put anything on a hot dog and it would taste better than this foul sense of not getting a text back. I have seen hotter people than this person I am texting (or lack thereof), so I know I can do better and I am not too upset. Ignore the fact that I am writing an article about one particular person.
8. BLT—Bitch Let’s Talk
Okay, call me Beyonce because I am not sorry. It’s time that I have a chat with this [insert bad word here]. If you’re here, that means that the person in your life still hasn’t texted you back. You might be feeling a lot things. But hopefully your BLT sandwich can fill the void that the person can’t.
I am not angry. Okay, that’s a lie. But listen, it isn’t hard to text back. In fact, it’s really easy. While I made these foods, he could have texted me back. He should have texted me back actually. But that’s okay, he can come home and find that I made all these foods and read this article later.