I have this terrible habit of taking up diets for short time periods to see how I feel about them. But, with my lack of willpower, I hate eating a set-in-stone diet, which makes me awful at dieting. For this reason, I always try to do diets that allow me to choose what I eat.
So, when I decided to spend a week eating only one-color foods each day, it wasn’t surprising to my friends that my eating habits—once again—became weird. I mean, it couldn’t be that hard, right? Oh, I was so wrong.
Day 1: Green
This one-color day started out surprisingly easy with an iced matcha latte from Virginia Tech’s Turner Place (make your own at home: recipe here). But, boy was I wrong about it being easy as the day progressed. Once 2:30pm hit, I was hitting hella hangry status.
Ask anyone who knows me, I am pretty much the worst hangry person on the planet. If you get in my way, I will cut you and roast you on a spit. So when I had to wait 30 minutes in line for my Jamba Juice smoothie I was most definitely not a happy camper.
As I drank my smoothie, I looked at my friend and stated, “I know what sadness tastes like now.” When I finally got home from campus all I wanted was meat. Protein cravings are very real. Unfortunately, green meat that won’t kill me doesn’t exist.
I felt like a rabbit. I don’t know how vegans survive on our campus (despite our handy guide). Heartbroken, I snacked on some pistachios and seaweed while I cooked my dinner: sautéed spinach and some rice dyed green with food coloring to adhere to my rule. I feel like I cheated already.
I went to bed with a bleak outlook for the next day—and a still rumbling stomach.
Day 2: Pink
I thought I chose this color carefully after my first one-color day experience left me exhausted and all sorts of miserable. There’s little green that you can eat that can fill you up for a while.
I mean, there is all the pink in the world you can eat and still get that protein fix. I could hear the salmon poke from the dining hall calling my name for lunch before I even ate breakfast: yogurt with raspberries. Thank god mixing them together made my yogurt pink.
However, once I got to my poke I was dismayed that I didn’t remember it came with a lot of rice and green onions. It took a hell lot of willpower to not eat it all and break my one-color rule. But, I did it and only ate the salmon.
At the end of the day, I had way more options for protein and filling foods, but after chowing down on a piece of grilled salmon, I was done with fish for a few days. I couldn’t do it anymore. At least my dessert of strawberries was healthy, sweet, and—most importantly—filling.
Day 3: Brown
Okay, it’s Saturday and the first Virginia Tech home football game is happening. I wanted to cry when I realized I had to eat one-color food today since Blacksburg’s unofficial slogan is, “A drinking town with a football problem.” We even had these shirts on Amazon at one point, guys.
I started off strong with a lot of homemade chocolate pancakes and some home-brewed beer. I think possibly the most awkward thing was asking for just the burger patty for lunch while watching the game at one of the bars, which I quickly laughed off and just ordered a beer after getting a weird look from the server.
A couple beers later, all I wanted was some wings.
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen, so I settled for some kind of chocolate Frappuccino while discussing pre-gaming downtown with my friends. There was a lot of chocolate today.
Luckily (can you sense the sarcasm?), I got to go home and cook some burger patties to well-done (can’t believe I ruined perfectly good burgers). There’s a reason I will ask anyone who wants me to cook beef well done, firmly, but politely to leave.
Trying to stay true to the brown theme, I drank coke and vodka all night. Never again. That’s all I have to say about that.
I’m not going to lie, I was pretty drunk at the end of the day and may have cheated by eating string cheese at 2:00 am (so it technically was on Day 4 time-wise) to help prevent a hangover on Sunday. It helped.
Day 4: White
Today started out okay, my hangover was mild. So, to ease my churning stomach I ate some yogurt. And some more yogurt. Okay, today was a lot of yogurt. And rice. That’s pretty much all I ate today: yogurt and rice. But not together, even though it’s an Iranian way to eat yogurt.
Day 5: Yellow
Today’s one-color choice was all about cheese. I missed it, I craved it. So, I started my day off with scrambled eggs with cheese. At that moment, it was possibly the best thing I ate in the past four days.
After that, the fatty food craze began. I gorged myself on cheese. Gouda, cheddar, pepper jack. I ate so many cheeses. And probably increased my cholesterol ten-fold (worth it).
As I was close to campus, I picked up and ate two large bowls of mac and cheese, and it was delicious. As dinner got closer I didn’t feel like I was getting hangry for once and munched on a block of gouda like it was an apple.
I went to bed full—for the first time this week—and with a disaster zone awaiting my stomach the next day. A cheese lover’s worst predicament is being lactose intolerant.
Day 6: Purple
I had to cleanse my system after the day of cheese. And what better way to do that than to pick the one-color food that you can only really have in smoothies?
Jamba Juice became my best friend today once I got to campus. And I discovered just how many purple smoothies they have. Three. All of which are super high in sugar for me. I thought I was going to be sick from the amount of sugar I ingested.
Day 7: Orange
Alright, not gonna lie. This one-color day was adhered to completely by fate intervening. Because I was sick with a 24-hour cold, all I did was drink a gallon of orange juice and eat a couple mandarin oranges my roommate allowed me to pilfer from her stash.
So, how was my week of eating only one-color foods? Terrible. I would not suggest it to anyone. It was stressful trying to navigate a culture where almost every food you eat has at least two or three colors. I would never do it again.
However, I do have to admit: it was kind of my own fault. This could have been easier on me if I had just planned out my meals and my days. If you’d like a challenge, try eating just one-color foods for a week. Best of luck to you.