If you’re someone who is frequently on the phone, editing photos for Instagram, texting over five people, or responding to multiple emails, all while in the presence of your friend(s) — keep reading. Some of these bad habits of ours we never even knew we had, and some we simply don’t know how to dispose.
1. You’re always on that phone
This is merely one of the many habits that will not only push your friends away, but also leave you — and the cell phone to which you direct most of your attention — in a puddle of regret. Your friends know you’re most likely thinking of the next text to send or photo to post, as opposed to genuinely listening to what they have to say. But they won’t say a word because, “maybe it’s important.”
2. You agree with them even when you secretly don’t
Give them your opinion, your honest opinion, because that’s what they really want and need. If you think they’re being naive, let them know. Real friends appreciate honesty above all else, which means lying to them wouldn’t make them feel better nor would it strengthen the friendship. It only allows them to assume you didn’t care enough to offer your authentic perspective.
3. You ignore them when you’re mad or upset
Try placing yourself in the shoes of your friends and you’ll see that ignoring them when you’re mad or upset does more harm than good. Want alone time? That’s fine, but sending a quick message to reassure them that everything’s okay, and that you just need to keep to yourself for a while, would help to prevent them from arriving at bizarre conclusions.
Also, please note that passive aggressive behavior is incredibly unattractive and unnecessary. If you’re mad at your friends over something they did, have the courage to express your discontent. Aren’t we way past those high school days? Be direct.
4. You make them a third wheel occasionally
I’ve been a third wheel so many times that I’ve now lost count. It’s an uncomfortable setting and typically makes the “third wheel” wish that they’d brought someone along to make it a little less awkward. All in all, while you’re busy kissing or hugging your lover, your uneasy friend is hopelessly dealing with it. Respect your friend enough to save all the lovey-dovey stuff for later. “But we’re in college” is not an excuse — the feelings of a third wheel in high school and a third wheel in college are one and the same. It ain’t fun.
5. You’re overly persistent when inviting them to a party
You guys are close friends, but that doesn’t mean the two of you like the same things. You really want to go to that party, but you refuse to go alone, so you beg your friend to go with you. Unfortunately, they say “no, that’s not my scene” or “nah, I’ve gotta study for finals.” If that’s the case, don’t get offended — it’s not their scene, and bugging them continuously will most likely agitate them.
Sure, if you’re lucky enough, they might just change their mind and decide to attend the party. The point is, don’t argue with them or deem them a “party pooper” if they happen to decline your party request. Some people view parties as boring occasions that solely involve standing around awkwardly, socializing pointlessly or dealing with annoying drunk individuals endlessly — and that’s alright.
6. You talk about them behind their backs
If something about your friend is bothering you, let them know. Be open about why you acted the way you did when they were around. Taking all the guts you have to explain your change of attitude is undoubtedly better than angrily ranting about them to someone else — specifically someone who doesn’t provide positive advice.
7. You like to do everything together, at all times
Oh yeah, the two of you are great friends, but that doesn’t imply a requirement to hangout every single day, or to do everything together. We’re in college, most likely spending more than a quarter of our time thinking about exams, assignments, and part-time jobs (or lack thereof). Thus, when we’ve got a few hours worth of free time, we usually save them for ourselves.
Give your friend(s) some space — if they were meant to stay, they certainly won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. We’re all adults and the desire for alone time is just a part of that deal, so perceive this tip as an opportunity to explore and try new things on your own.