You may have heard of Tequila Mockingbird themed parties but have you considered these literary possibilities? Here are 21 classics reimagined for a college student’s lifestyle.
1. The Wizard of Ouzo by L. Frank Baum
Dorothy Gale embarks on a journey to a strange and distant bar, the Emerald Shot Glass, alongside her three best friends in order to get the Great and Powerful Wizard of Ouzo drunk enough to grant her wish of bringing Greek liquor to dusty Kansas.
2. Gone with the Whiskey by Margaret Mitchell
In this classic tale of the American South, Scarlett O’Hara watches a civilization fall after the confederate army consumes all of their whiskey rations. Her troubles continue when her husband, Rhett Butler, leaves her after finding out that she’s been pining after an old county beau, Jack Daniel.
3. A Tree Grows in Bourbon by Betty Smith
Little luxuries are celebrated during Francie Nolan’s childhood of poverty. Although they do not like it, Katie Nolan provides her children with one glass of bourbon a day so that they can pour it down the sink and experience the privilege of being wasteful. The pain this daily ritual brings their alcoholic father eventually leads to his untimely death.
4. Absinth, Absinth by William Faulkner
Either Quentin Compson sits down with his neighbor Miss Rosa Coldfield to hear the epic story of the rise and fall of the Sutpen family empire in Jefferson, Mississippi or the whole thing is a hallucination brought on by a bottle of absinth which Quentin shares with his Harvard roommate.
5. For Whom the Bellini Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
American Robert Jordan joins a group of gritty guerrilla warriors on the Republican side in the Spanish Civil War who appreciate a pink, peach flavored cocktail after a grueling day of blowing up bridges.
6. Of Mice and Margaritas by John Steinbeck
When Lenny accidentally makes the margaritas too strong, Curly’s wife drunkenly admits that she hates her husband. George gives Lenny’s drink an extra tequila shot so that the forthcoming confrontation with Curly won’t be so terribly awkward.
7. The Picture of Dorian Grey Goose by Oscar Wild
Famous artist Basil Hallward is struck by the beauty of his friend Dorian, who holds a full bottle of the world’s best tasting vodka. Basil creates a portrait of his muse and his Grey Goose. When Dorian drinks quite a bit of his vodka during an existential crisis, he remains completely sober. However, the portrait version of himself now has a lamp shade on its head.
8. Patron and Prejudice by Jane Austen
During their first encounter, Mr. Darcy looks down upon Elizabeth Bennet’s choice beverage (Jose Cuervo) which leads to Miss Bennet’s utmost dislike of the gentleman. However, after a visit with her aunt and uncle to Pemberley and an invitation to dinner and drinks introduces the young heroin to Patron, Elizabeth realizes her own faults.
9. The Adventures of Huckleberry Gin by Mark Twain
Huckleberry Gin, tired of his drunkard father’s attempts to steal his wealth of gin, pretends to have drunk all of his spoils. In disbelief, the townspeople drag the river for hidden bottles of gin as Huckleberry sails away with escaped slave, Jim, on a raft made out of empty bottles and corks.
10. Fifty Shades of Grain Alcohol by E.L. James
A lot of dirty things happen but nobody remembers.
11. A Connecticut Yuengling in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain
Hank Morgan is enjoying a Yuengling in Hartford, Connecticut when he is hit over the head with a crow bar. When Morgan wakes up, he is on the floor of the bar and his Yuengling has disappeared. Many years before, Sir Kay showed up at court and presented King Arthur with a mysterious ale from the foreign land of Pottersville, PA.
12. King Beer by William Shakespear
King Beer is ready to step down from his thrown and divide his fields of barley and hops amongst his three daughters. In order to decide whether or not he should divide his kingdom evenly between them, King Beer asks each of his daughters which beer they love the most. One daughter says Yuengling while another says Budwiser. The third daughter, Cordelia, says that she cannot choose just one beer. King Beer gives his indecisive daughter all of the Keystone Light in the land as a punishment. Then everyone dies because this is Shakespeare.
13. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fireball by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter’s fourth year at Hogwarts is sure to be another adventure. Though he is not yet of legal drinking age, he is selected to partake in the most dangerous drinking game of the wizarding world–The Triwizard Tournament. Participants are to compete in daring feats of wizardry and, after each task, the loser must drink from the Goblet of Fireball. During the game someone almost drowns, someone goes crazy, and someone dies. By the end of the game, the dark lord has risen.
14. A Sidecar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
When Blanche DuBois arrives at her sister Stella’s New Orleans apartment for an extended stay, Stella’s husband, Stanley, isn’t pleased. He questions Blanche’s past, her reputation and the fact that she lost the family farm, Belle Reve. Stanley only gets over these things when Blanche makes the best pitcher of sidecars he’s ever tasted. At the end of the play we’re left with a question: did Blanche run out of Cognac or did Stanley drink it all?
15. Bridget Jones’s Daiquiri by Helen Fielding
Bridget Jones documents a year of self-improvement paying close attention to the number of daiquiris drunk, cigarettes smoked and painfully embarrassing social occasions attended. Although several areas of her life improve, she is unable to kick the daiquiri habit. In her diary, she admits her defeat by writing “Daiquiris consumed…thousands. Oh well!”
16. The Lord of the Riesling by J.R.R. Tolken
Froddo embarks on a journey to Mount Doom to destroy a bottle of ancient Riesling which entombs the soul of a particularly sour grape–the Dark Lord Sauron. The hobbit doubts his abilities to carry out such a task alone and also wonders why he, Sam and Gandolf can’t just sit down and (literally) drink their problems away instead of traveling all the way to Mordor to throw a perfectly good bottle of wine into a fiery pit.
17. The Last of the Mojitos by James Fennimore Cooper
With the French and Indian war in full swing, it seems like the fighting will never come to an end and Colonel Munro’s daughters are caught in the middle of the conflict. These daughters, Alice and Cora, momentarily escape the war and embark on a romance-filled adventure when they share the last of the French army’s mojitos.
18. The Catcher in the Rye Whiskey by J.D. Salinger
When Holden Caulfeld flunks out of his fourth school, he decides to spend the remaining time before Christmas vacation in New York City so as to keep his parents unaware of his situation. Holden is on the brink of a mental breakdown. Everyone is phony. Everyone is annoying. Everyone is unworthy of his company…until he gets a hold of a bottle of rye whiskey. Then, suddenly, everyone is wonderful!
19. One Flew Over the Cosmo‘s Nest by Ken Kesey
Randle McMurphy causes a stir at a mental hospital in Oregon when he challenges authority by refusing the traditional electroshock therapy and, instead, opts for an up and coming treatment method that involves drinking a lot of cosmopolitans. Nurse Ratched is not pleased with McMurphy’s insubordination, but she gets over it when the Chief gives her a cosmo as well.
20. James and the Giant Peach Schnapps by Roald Dahl
After James Trotter’s parents are trampled by a rhino and he is left to the custody of his abusive aunts, life seems bleak and hopeless. That is, until one day when he crosses paths with a man who gives him a magical schnapps which will bring him adventure. James accidentally trips and spills the potion on a peach tree and an enormous bottle of peach schnapps sprouts from the tree. Talk about an adventure!
21. Oliver Martini with a Twist by Charles Dickens
Oliver Twist has an unfortunate childhood. Orphaned from birth and brought up in a baby farm, life doesn’t get any better when he’s sent to work under the beadle Mr. Bumble. He and the other boys are only given one martini per day. When Oliver decides to approach Mr. Bumble and says, “Please sir, I want a twist” his life only gets more difficult. Mr. Bumble is outraged. He only serves dirty martinis.