Growing up, there is no tolerance for picky eaters. We are shamed by parents and siblings and friends and teachers. You can never answer the question “Am I a Picky Eater” truthfully. Guilt trip, after guilt trip. Under the guise of adventure, we are pushed to uncomfortable extremes. It is time to rise up. Discover your unique answer to the question: Am I a Picky Eater?
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You are an AMAZING person and picky eater if:
1. You can look at something and immediately KNOW you’re not gonna eat it
Friend: “It might be the best thing you have ever tasted! You don’t know. Try it!”
Me:
If it’s green, slimy, and wet, I don’t want it.
Thanks, but no thanks, Becky. I don’t think I want to die today. Maybe next time (but probably not).
2. You take what you don’t want out of guilt, then pretend you’re eating it.
Sometimes you’ll spread it out around your plate. Pick it up with your fork. Cut it. Whatever looks like you might actually be eating it. They can’t blame you for being full- even though you haven’t truly eaten anything.
3. You WOULD eat the same thing every day.*
*If it was your favorite food.
So take that, DAD! “You can’t possibly survive off of peanut butter and jelly every day.”
**Proceeds to eat peanut butter and jelly every day for lunch for 15 years.**
4. You silently scream (and/or flinch) when someone eats something you don’t like.
Though you may try, you can’t save them. People like what they like.
5. You forgot to ask for things to be removed from what you ordered- and you hate yourself for it.
Ah yes, my favorite part, removing the pickles from the sandwich because I forgot to ask for no pickles. I can still feel the sad, cold, slimy feeling on my pointer finger. It makes me shiver on the inside.
6. Even WORSE: When they forget to remove what you asked.
Because I run from conflict, I smile and say that everything is okay. Once they are gone, I cry on the inside. After going through all the self-consciousness of asking, you still don’t get what you wanted.
7. You order the same thing at almost every restaurant.
Stick to what you’re comfortable with. Though you look at the menu you already know what you’re going to eat. I love that cheeseburgers are on the menu at almost every place I go.
8. Unlike your indecisive friends, you know what you like.
You can easily choose where you wanna go to eat. Especially cause you know where you don’t want to. It’s a great quality for indecisive friends and family members. Move aside Becky, I know where we’re going.
9. You feel guilty for being picky, but you own up to it.
Either get on board or get off the bus. Don’t say you’re not picky, when you know, that maybe, deep deep down, you are. It’s okay to be choosy, as long as you aren’t pushing others around for it.
Sorry Becky, you can come back.
10. On the other hand, you DENY DENY DENY when others make fun of you for it.
You tell others you can eat something you don’t like. You tell yourself that too. You’re not the picky one of the group. You can eat things you hate. Sure. It’s possible. Maybe. Uh, yeah.
11. You’ve learned how to hide your pickiness in front of acquaintances
Maybe you can’t eat something because you’re “allergic.” Maybe you’re “full” or have an “upset stomach.” Or maybe you’ve already “bought something else.” Whatever it is, you have made sure you haven’t put yourself in an awkward situation. Smooth sailing.
12. You’re always slightly scared when you have to eat with a friend’s/partner’s family
Am I a picky eater? Err..To share your pickiness, or not to share. That is the question. Sometimes it’s safe, and other times it’s not. Being picky about food can rub people the wrong way. Maybe you’ll just return to #2 on this list. But the fear of what’s going to be served is always on your mind.
13. You get really irritated with people who try to force food on you
This isn’t a game. I’m not pretending that I don’t like the food just so you beg me. I don’t want it. Surprisingly, being forced to try it is not going to make me want it more. Leave me ALONE.
14. On the better hand, you are super thankful for the people in your life who don’t make you try everything
It’s a supernatural amount of thankfulness. It’s rare to come across this type of friend. At a certain point in every friendship, your “friend” will not stop begging you to try something. They’ll shame you into trying it. So when a good friend asks once, then stops, it’s a blessing. One that you greatly appreciate.
15. Because of your experience, you know every trying-to-get-you-to-eat-it-trick there is in the book
Yes, I guess you will have to enjoy it all by yourself. No, I don’t think I am missing out. No, I don’t know where you’ve tasted it before. And I don’t want to guess. And no, I can’t eat that teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy bite. It’s physically impossible.
16. You like your food a certain way
Whether it’s the way something is cooked or the amount of sauce on a bowl of pasta, you’ve got a special way to do it. Sometimes it doesn’t cause a problem, other times it’s an insurmountable burden to carry.
17. Sometimes it’s hard to share the food you love
Like Joey Tribbiani, food is sometimes not easy to share. Sometimes the urge to protect your own food is so powerful that sharing it can break up relationships. After working so hard to get something you like, it’s hard to willingly share it. Especially with someone who will eat everything.
You can eat the slimy things, and I’ll eat the good stuff, thanks.
18. You’ve taken at least six different “Are you a Picky Eater Tests”
Sometimes the results are what you want. And other times you wish they were different. Dependent on your confidence in your pickiness, the tests can be fun or terrible. Either way, you’ve taken the test and probably have marked several things on the list as “un-eatable.”
19. Despite what the haters think, you LOVE food
You’re actually a connoisseur of food. Sure, you don’t try everything on the menu. But you can guarantee you’ve tried the same thing from 16 different restaurants and you know which one has the best.
20. But most importantly, you are ECSTATIC when someone purposefully makes your favorite food.
With all the gross things you know exist in the world, you appreciate it all the more.
And that’s true love, my friend.
Now you can ask yourself: Am I a Picky Eater?
Do you have a friend that’s a picky eater? Check this out: The Struggle of Being Friends with Picky Eaters
Do you have a friend that’s a picky eater? Check this out: The Struggle of Being Friends with Picky Eaters