First off, I want to give a disclaimer: I know pretty much nothing about Kim Kardashian, other than the fact that she is married to Kanye West, has two children with him, has a show featuring herself and her family, and has a ridiculous badonkadonk.
That being said, I also have my own opinions about going on fad diets (especially juice cleanses), but still, the very notion of them is both interesting and scary. Even though I may not fully believe or subscribe to what these diets advocate, I figured some of them may be worth trying so I would have experience to back my opinion.
Through a series of connections, I eventually found myself on the phone with Kim Kardashian’s actual nutritionist, which is, quite frankly, the most brag-worthy moment of my life in recent history. She offered and described to me the Atkins 40 diet, which I agreed to try out for a week, just to gauge how things are.
Basically, I couldn’t have more than 40 net carbs per day, which was a hella serious problem because I practically bleed carbs. But hey, it sounded easy enough and perhaps it could even be a way to reduce my dependency on carbs. And, real talk, I’ve always wanted to write an experiential article anyways, so it worked out well.
I decided to start the diet the same week I moved into my new apartment, that way I wouldn’t be tempted with anything my parents cooked. I splurged at the nearest Trader Joe’s and bought some chicken thighs, sausage, and assorted produce, ready to knock this out of the park.
Day One
I ended up having an Atkins granola bar for breakfast, mainly because I didn’t have time to cook an actual meal. My friend took me out to lunch at a French café, which was a tad problematic, given that I wanted a butter croissant desperately. I settled on grilled chicken and got string beans and broccoli on the side, but if it wasn’t for the diet, I so would’ve gone for a plateful of mashed potatoes.
After lunch was where it started getting rough. I was hungry towards the late afternoon, so I settled with cottage cheese and blackberries as a snack. At that point, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer and opted to make dinner early: chicken sausage, spinach, and grape tomatoes. All was well, except I felt like practically nothing entered my body. I didn’t feel satiated at all, and I made it a point to let others know how I felt.
The nutritionist told me that it may take a while for your body to adjust, so I decided to wait it out. I went to bed in total darkness, with nothing but the sound of my stomach rumbling keeping me company. The first cut is the deepest, right?
Day Two
The whole “eat a granola bar for breakfast” thing was getting real old, real quick. Granted, I was really supposed to have a legitimate meal that morning (eggs, bacon, grits, sausage, the whole shebang), but there was no way I could squeeze in food prep before going in for work. Besides, I was #hangry at that point, AKA, not having any of that nonsense.
I packed blackberries and grape tomatoes for lunch (again, rookie mistake), and some of my co-workers even offered to share their lunch with me. I kindly declined, explained the diet to them, and continued to eat my fruits.
After work, I figured I should do something to get my mind off of my constant hunger, so I decided to go shopping for my apartment. There’s nothing like a little retail therapy to clear my head—except when that retail therapy has a McDonald’s right inside it.
The thing is, I realized that so many people must’ve faced a similar obstacle sometime throughout the course of their respective diet. I wanted to prove that I could hold my own and stay committed to something, so I tried to push myself towards that mindset. I walked around Wal-Mart, mentally convincing myself that I could make it through.
But after a few minutes, pretty much all I could smell were McDonald’s French fries in all their golden-brown glory. And, despite my inner qualms and internal conflict, I walked out of that Wal-Mart with a Big Mac, 20 Chicken McNuggets, and the biggest size of fries possible. No regrets.
Hell, I was so happy to be eating this much food that I actually spent a decent amount of time trying to take photos of it — which, if you know me personally, I always do when I’m about to go ham on something.
Final Thoughts
Before you start judging me for not even lasting 48 hours on a diet, hear me out. I, for one, did not need to lose any weight at all. In fact, I needed to gain some weight, and the Atkins diet was something that typically people use to lose weight.
My first day on the diet, I was able to stay under the 40 net carb limit, which was great. My calorie intake, on the other hand, wasn’t so great. I had a total of 1,170 calories, which wasn’t good for someone that typically consumes around 2,300 a day.
I tried sticking to the diet as much as I could, and I think the first day I was pretty well off, but the calorie issue was something that ultimately made me scrap the diet entirely.
Point is, I learned that it’s pretty darn difficult for a college student to transition into a such a drastic meal plan, especially since a typical student’s diet is mostly composed of carbs (bless you, pasta). Even further, diving right into the 40 net carbs after having easily four or five times that number on a regular basis is super hard.
That’s not to say that there weren’t mistakes on my behalf—I could have dedicated more time to making breakfast and packing lunch on the second day, but time is something that you either have a lot of, or none at all.
Fundamentally, I’m sure the Atkins diet works—hell, even Kim Kardashian did it—but it came as nearly impossible for me. I guess the real clincher here is that you shouldn’t go on a diet to simply to go with a trend or be described as ‘hip’ or ‘cool,’ no matter how awesome drinking straight-up juice for a week may sound. Your body requires and deserves to be treated with the appropriate nutrients, and unless absolutely necessary, you shouldn’t deprive yourself of them.