We’ve all been there. That awkward morning when you both wake up, not knowing what to do next. Should you kick him out? Or, maybe, pretend that you need to go and, so should he? Do you cook breakfast (he must’ve been that good)?
You know for sure, if he stays with you a little longer, he surely would want a nice cup of coffee. But what does he drink? Do you order Starbucks for two of you? He might assume you are just too basic? Do you go with Dunkin’? Then he might think you are basic AND cheap.
Well, here is a quick head-to-toe guide to help you figure out whether he prefers Starbucks or Dunkin’. Remember to think critically and wholeheartedly. Let’s break it down.
HATS, SCARFS AND GLOVES
Fedora, Beanie, Driving Cap… any other hat styles—other than a Plain Jane baseball hat—is a clear indication he drinks Starbucks.
If he’s wearing a baseball hat, you can be 80% sure he would be just fine drinking Dunkin’. If the baseball hat has a sport’s brand name or logo on it (Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins) he is a 100% Dunkin’ fan and he will shamelessly drink his Dunkin’ Iced Regular.
If he wears a scarf, honey, you know he definitely drinks Starbucks! If he wears gloves — he’s a Starbie. If those are leather gloves — he most definitely drinks Starbucks!
ACTUAL CLOTHING
A Black North Face jacket screams Dunkin’. So does the hoodie or a jersey he is wearing.
If he wears a Button-Down (and an undershirt), think Starbucks. Same goes to his two/three-piece suit.
A tie or a bow-tie also suggests a Starbucks addiction. (Dunkin’ guys would avoid wearing those at all times.)
PANTS, SHOES AND MORE
Slacks, khakis and chinos will tell you he only drinka Starbucks.
If he wear jeans or sweatpants — he drinks Dunkin’, no doubt.
Underwear (Ooh-la-la)
If his undies are banded (Abercrombie, American Eagle, Calvin Klein, Banana Republic) — he drinks Starbucks.
If those are good ol’ Fruit of the Loom undies — you can be absolutely sure he drinks Dunkin’ (7-eleven is not a bad guess either).
Andrew Christian or Addicted underwear is a red flag — that’s the sign of a ‘rainbow’, if you know what I mean…
Shoes
If he had on dress shoes or loafers, he’s practically advocating for his love for Starbucks.
If he wears snickers or sandals, more often than not, he will drink Dunkin’. And you can be 10000% sure he drinks Dunkin’ if he wear flip-flops (especially over his socks)!
I hope this quick (and funny) guide will be helpful for you in easily determining his coffee preferences after you’ve had some nookie from him the night before. Let’s hope he is decent enough to invite you out for a cup of coffee. And if he does, now you know if you are going to end up at Dunkin’ or Starbucks (hopefully, not 7-eleven).