Ask any student at the University of Iowa about Hawkeye Vodka and they’ll most likely offer a story involving vomit, poor decisions, getting in trouble, or any combination of the three. The bottom-shelf liquor infamously named after our very own school has become a staple in freshman dorm rooms and the bars of Iowa City alike.
But what if you don’t want to drink the vile substance and instead want to put it to practical use? We’ve come up with a few ways to use Hawkeye without feeling the burn in your throat or the regret of last night’s decisions.
1. Vodka Sauce
Upgrade boring tomato sauce with the use of your good friend Hawkeye. All you need is a little bit, so it doesn’t matter if half your bottle is gone from last weekend anyways.
2. First Aid
Did you happen to fall down after drinking too much Hawkeye and scrape your knee? Apply some to a cotton ball and use it to clean the wound.
3. Treat poison ivy
We hope you never find yourself in the woods with nothing but Hawkeye Vodka, but in that case you’d be in luck. The alcohol will rinse away the urushiol oil, AKA the chemical from the leaves that causes the itch.
4. Freshen Laundry
Dilute the Hawkeye with water and spray directly onto clothing; it will get rid of the smell without having to wash them. Make sure to hang your clothes to dry so they don’t start to smell like vodka instead.
5. Clean your room
While cleaning your room may not be at the top of your list, you can put that leftover vodka to good use and use it to clean. Just wet a rag with some Hawkeye and clean any surface you want, including mirrors and windows.
6. Make flowers last longer
If you want to keep your picked flowers for longer than a few days, add a few drops of Hawkeye and a teaspoon of sugar to the water. Slightly acidic water flows through the stems faster than regular water, keeping your flowers from wilting right away.
7. Attempt to make it taste better
So you’ve exhausted all your options and realized the best thing to do is just swallow your pride with a shot of Hawkeye. Fear not, we’ve got you covered with some Skittle flavored shots.
8. Use as an astringent
Put a little Hawkeye on a cotton ball and apply to your face. It will cleanse and open your pores, leaving you feeling fresh and clean.
9. Prolong the life of your razor
Soaking your razor in Hawkeye every few weeks is going to prevent rust and prevent you from having to spend a ton of money on new razor blades.
10. Help cold and fever symptoms
Similar to the way that Vick’s Vapor Rub works to relieve cold and fever symptoms, Hawkeye vodka is so strong that it clears your sinuses almost instantly. Just apply a little to a cotton ball and rub on your chest and neck.
Don’t be a rookie and drink Hawkeye. There are so many ways you can put this disgusting substance to good use that doesn’t involve poor decisions and a cringe after taking a pull.