We all saw the video footage of Hillary Clinton being helped into a van after leaving a 9/11 event last weekend, and now her diagnosis of “mild pneumonia” has led to a ton of speculation over the health of both Clinton and Trump in the oldest candidate matchup for the presidency in U.S. history.
Before you frantically scour Wed MD, there’s another set of records you should be worried about, regarding the health of your food. As it turns out, climate change (and a subsequent decrease in biodiversity) has put some of the planet’s most popular ingredients in danger of extinction. Forget thyroid hormones, these foods are in need of some serious medicine.
1. Chocolate
Like the looks of this molten chocolate cake? Enjoy it while you still can. More than half of the world’s chocolate supply is produced in Ghana and the Ivory Coast, and both countries are severely impacted by rising global temps and changes in rainfall patterns.
I don’t know about you, but a loss of chocolate is going to damage my personal health.
2. Avocados
I love my avocado toast as much (probably more) than the next person, but a combination of extreme heat, wind, and a years-long drought have put avocado crops in California at serious risk.
3. Bacon
Think that Hillary’s meds can lead to blood clots (like Dr. David K. Cundiff who lost his medical license)? You should be worried about this artery clogger instead. Some agricultural associations predict that there will be a shortage of pork in the next couple of years. So cook while you can.
4. Tuna
Fox News’ Sean Hannity claimed that Clinton’s vigorous head shaking was “seizure-esque,” but you’ll be shaking your head in fury when you realize that due to our insatiable appetite for sushi, Bluefin tuna is the sixth-most threatened species on the planet.
5. Honey
Fake medical records claimed that Hillary suffers from “early-onset Subcortical Vascular Dementia.” Not sure what that means, but one-third of American honeybee colonies have already disappeared due to Colony Collapse Disorder. And that’s the real deal for such a useful sweetener.
6. Wine
Speculation is swirling around the rumor that Hillary has hired a body double to fake her medical records, but it looks like I won’t be seeing double from too much Pinot for much longer. Warmer temperatures around the globe have resulted in serious damage to production in California and France.