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A Ranking Of All The Food-Related “Friends” Episodes

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at Oxford chapter.

Everyone has heard of “Friends” (and if not, WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN FOR THE LAST 23 YEARS? There isn’t a rock big enough to hide under). It was a TV phenomenon that people could not get enough of and just when you thought you’d heard the last of it, BOOM there was “Joey”, “The Class”, “How I Met Your Mother” and many more, all trying to capitalise on its successful format.

Now, 23 years later, you thought it was FINALLY over… well, you thought wrong. Here’s my ranking of all the food related “Friends” episodes I could think of (and there are surprisingly more than you would think).

14. All of those episodes that have food that isn’t pivotal to the plot

We’re talking about all those episodes that have food in the title and yet it doesn’t play much of a role in the plot (e.g. “The One with the Dozen Lasagnas”, where Monica makes a bunch of lasagnas and gives them out randomly to people throughout the episode). Since the food is arbitrary, all these episodes get placed at the bottom of the pile.

You get to look at food….I guess? #silverlining

13. The One With Phoebe’s Cookies

I mean, the entire story line is that the girls try to figure out Phoebe’s grandmother’s chocolate chip cookie recipe FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE (and still fail). That’s it. There’s no twists and barely any narrative, so it ranks marginally higher than the episodes where the food has no role at all.

(even the GIF is funnier than the entire premise of that episode)

12. The One With All the Candy

So, the story goes that Monica tries to make her neighbours like her by giving them free candy. Monica’s Type A personality never ceases to be funny (especially when it gets Chandler equally rattled) but TBH, her actions here are more sad than funny. Sorry Monica, got to rank you down for that one but since the food is a driving factor of the plot this time, I’ll rank it higher than Phoebe’s cookies. 

PS: Joey (above) represents all of us at Halloween

11. The One With All The Cheesecakes

A fairly food-centric episode for “Friends” where Chandler and Rachel fight over some cheesecake that magically appears on their doorstep (isn’t that the dream??). Watching a desperate Chandler and Rachel scrounge around for crumbs of cheesecake on the ground is a little bit sad, but funnier than Monica having a nervous breakdown. Plus, who hasn’t eaten food off the floor? I think we can all relate to this one.

10. The One With The Cake

Rachel accidentally gets a penis shaped cake for her daughter’s first birthday, because sex ed started very early for kids back in 2003. 

We never get to see the cake so this episode is less funny than it could’ve been, but the premise is funny enough to make the Top 10. Plus, it’s the only episode so far on this list that isn’t slightly sad (and cake always wins in my books).

9. The One With The List

Monica tries out a new, healthier form of chocolate called “Mockolate” on her friends. Unfortunately for the waistlines of the human race, the results were less than satisfactory, but the reactions sure were funny. At least in this episode you actually get to see the food in question (still not over the lack of penis-shaped cake on our screens at No.10).

Note: although this GIF is not from the episode, it does sum up the gang’s reaction to everything Monica made during this episode

8. The One With The Rumour

In this episode, Joey thinks he can eat a whole turkey in one sitting during the gang’s annual Thanksgiving dinner. The best part about this episode isn’t just the fact that Joey thinks he can eat the whole thing, but it’s his turkey eating (i.e. maternity) trousers that steal the show – just look at him in all his glory above.

Deep, deep, DEEP down (or maybe not so deep), we all wish we had a pair of trousers like those, which is why it ranks slightly higher than Mockolate (which none of us wish we had).

7. The One With The Ride Along

This is the episode where Joey is more willing to protect his sandwich from a bullet/car backfire than his best friend. All I can say is, thank god Joey isn’t a policeman.

That slo-mo dive and Chandler’s reaction is what makes this episode rank so highly (skip to 3:18 to see it). Since Joey broke Chandler’s heart here (look at his poor, heartbroken face at 3:28), it only follows that he should rank higher than Joey’s turkey glory. 

6. The One Where Rachel Smokes

“Hmm, soup. I mean, noodle soup. I mean soup!” (face palm)

This episode should really be renamed “The One Where Joey Keeps Saying “Noodle Soup”. The story goes that Joey is so nervous for his audition that he keep saying “noodle soup” instead of just “soup”. This one isn’t ranked higher because it’s funny for about 5 seconds before you’re shouting at the screen “JUST SAY SOUP GODDAMMIT!”. Still, you’ve got to pity him a bit more than Chandler at No. 7 – he tries his best but still doesn’t succeed (sadly Coldplay was not on hand to “fix him”) so he gets to be at No.6.

5. The One Where Joey Speaks French

The only food related part in this episode is at the end where Joey tries to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds to demonstrate that at least one thing was true on his CV (because speaking French really wasn’t his forte). It’s a small segment of the episode but it’s so funny that it’s got to be up there in the Top 5. Physical comedy is definitely more of a crowd pleaser than the inability to say “soup” (sorry Joey).

Does milk stain? Let’s hope not, for Joey’s sake.

4. The One With All The Thanksgivings

 The gist is that Joey made the classic mistake that we’ve all made (?)  and got his head stuck in a turkey (and right before Thanksgiving dinner – how rude). It’s such a cheesy and simple gag but it really works

Oh, and the fun doesn’t stop with Joey:

(How many turkeys do they have??)

Like I said before, physical comedy is always a winner but what makes this top even Joey pouring milk on himself is the DANCE. Monica has some serious dance skills- need I remind you of her hilarious doughnut dance? (click HERE to relive that glorious memory)

3. The One Where Ross Got High

It has to take something big to break the Top 3 but Rachel’s classic “trifle” has got to make the cut. Rachel wants to prove herself in this episode by making the dessert for Thanksgiving dinner all by herself.  Her delicious mistake of lady fingers, jam, custard, raspberries, banana, whipped cream and err…beef sautéed with peas and onions has never been forgotten (and in fact has been recreated numerous times) so this ranks higher than the perhaps more forgettable turkey-on-head gag. 

I’m sure like Joey says, it’s all good…

2. The One With Ross’s Sandwich

Just missing out on the top spot is “The One With Ross’s Sandwich”, which is pretty self explanatory. In case you haven’t figured out the plot yet, Ross is very protective over his sandwich and gets super angry when someone eats it (it did have a note on it so I guess, fairs?) Best part is, of course, Ross’s rant that gets him fired from his job (and it’s not hard to see why). Since this gag is slightly less disgusting than Rachel’s trifle (I know I’m being picky but it’s a tough competition at the top), it ranks higher. 

Who agrees that Ross would’ve made an awesome Hulk? Controversial, but maybe he should’ve considered a career in acting rather than dinosaurs.

1. The One With The Birth Mother

This episode ranks at number one because it gave birth to a line, and then a GIF, that we can all still relate to: “JOEY/ [insert own name] DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!”. We’ve all felt that rage when someone steals food off your plate when you know perfectly well that they could’ve got their own, and so does Joey – in this episode, he goes on a date with a girl who takes food off his plate without asking and understandably, gets a little peeved about it

Objectively speaking, Joey goes on multiple rants about food during the episode instead of just one massive rage like Ross so it’s slightly funnier, but really it’s the appeal to my own heart (and stomach) that wins it the top spot.

Don’t worry Joey, we get you.

Vivien Zhu

Oxford '18