Food is something that unites us all. We gather around at tables with friends and family (or in my future situation, several cats), and we eat our meals together. However, there are some foods that are just not for everyone. I like to keep things simple, so don’t worry, this list won’t be too overwhelming. Here are seven common eating habits we all love to hate (although we all do at least one of these things).
1. Ordering Pineapple on Pizza
Here’s the thing: pineapple is great. It is great for you, great tasting, and great at being a home (looking at you Spongebob). Here’s another thing: pizza is great. But there’s a problem. Some people don’t like it when the two clash.
I’m certain that if you walked into a room and asked each person about their preference you’d get differing opinions. Out of my group of three friends and two cats, one loves it, one hates it, one is allergic to pineapple (so we don’t count her), and the cats eat anything.
2. Dipping Pizza in Ranch
Don’t worry, this list is only 50% about pizza. Some people really love to dip their pizza in some sort of sauce. It doesn’t have to be ranch, but among the famous and popular, ranch is chosen. I’m not going to lie to you—personally, I hate ranch on pizza. Ranch only belongs on one food for me: salads. Oh, and I don’t eat salad.
3. Eating Candy Bars Without Guidelines
Some candy bars have markings on them where you’re supposed to break them and share them with yourself or your three friends. I don’t know anyone who has committed this atrocity, but there are some people who just like to watch the world burn.
Imagine this: a Kit-Kat unraveled and awaiting a belly to fill or a sweet tooth to settle. But instead of being a part of something great and breaking the Kit-Kat, you just hear the screams of the four bars that were eaten at the same time.
4. Having Breakfast For Dinner
Breakfast for dinner is not for everyone. I learned this when I was living my life at The Cheesecake Factory with my grandparents. But for some reason they refused to let me have breakfast for dinner.
It was this moment that made me realize how much of an OCD person my grandfather was. He HATES that we have breakfast for other meals. Like, he wants to stop it, make it against the law, build a Donald Trump-style wall encompassing the people who do it. To this day, I don’t eat breakfast for any other meal because his opinion was so strong.
5. Preferring Waffles Over Pancakes
Pancakes are nice and fluffy creatures that make their way to your plate before 11 am (unless you’re a monster and eat breakfast for dinner). Waffles are pancakes that were hurt in the past and now they have holes in their heart. If you can’t tell, I am a pancake person.
6. Biting Into Cheese Sticks
Cheese sticks are amazing. I think that 98% of the population can agree that in addition to God saying “let there be light” he also low-key said “let there be cheese sticks.”
However, there are a few people who eat these amazing treats in rather odd ways. There are the people who pull apart the cheese by strips (the right away). And then, there are the people who bite the whole cheese stick because they’re savages.
7. Eating Your Pizza Crust Firat
Remember when I said this list was only going to have pizza mentioned a few times? Well, I lied and I am sorry that you had to find out I’m not trustworthy. But at least I’m not one of the people who eats the crust first, I mean come on. I don’t know many people who do this because I don’t trust these people. The crust, in my crazy mind, is the icing on the pizza cake. It’s my reward for coming so far. These people just skip to the reward.
This isn’t meant to make anyone question their life decisions and whether or not you should trust people. These are the things you need to ask your date. If they disagree with you on these, well, I’m no fortuneteller, but you’re gonna have a bad time.
I’m asking my date tonight these questions. We’ll see how things go. I’m praying that a boy who loves pineapple on pizza, hates ranch, follows guidelines with candy, doesn’t eat breakfast for dinner, is a pancake person, eats cheese sticks by tearing them apart, and eats pizza normally is hopefully not too much to ask for. But honestly just asking for a text back is hard enough.